Bah,humbug

Peter MacDuck was a happy chappie as he looked down as the master of all he surveyed. Quite an incredible achievement,he reckoned,to be solely in charge of this huge retail emporium,one which meant so much to so many people,it commanded a brand loyalty which the likes of Mark’s and Spencer could only dream of.

He gave a quick flick through the latest income streams,and smiled contentedly. All coming up roses. He had managed to get away with running last season’s fashion items again-no great surprise,he knew his customers,change things every three years or so and go with the tried and trusted.

Aye,of course it sometimes didn’t work,but sometimes neither did new models. A couple of Scandinavian blonds bombed,some cute Africans deserted ship for better wages. He’d even got some money in for some of them,a large sum to swop them to foreign shores where they would not be a nuisance in the future,wearing new apparel which might make his customers question why these things weren’t available to them

He took a wee moment to himself as he watched the latest sales figures filter through,and regretted one small part of modernity.

He couldn’t hear the sound that to him summed up Christmas.

Oh,how he longed for the good old days,The Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells of cash registers working overtime.

Of course,it was only due to modern technology that he could keep up to date with income as it happened,but well,you canny beat the real thing.

MacDuck did the next best thing. He turned his monitor to the tills in the store and played some piped music,the theme tune to Are You Being Served. On a loop. Ching Ching. And a nice wee thought or ten of Miss Brahms before she turned up in Eastenders.

Kicked off the shoes,nice music,nice thoughts,wonderful images in the store. He should have listened to his Chief Buyer in the summer,but he’d never listened to one before,and the customers were still there. Might have to get my finger out,he thought. Or maybe fire him.

But for all that the customers were still there,they didn’t seem to be buying as much,some were complaining about having only last year’s range to look at. He was concerned about maybe he’d been found out.

No matter. His boss was only interested in one thing. Not making a loss. Didn’t even bother if MacDuck contrived to award himself 3% of turnover and ten times that of profit in wages and bonus.

Actually,life is good,and he flipped off his shoes,leant back in his chair and listened to that Ching Ching. It meant so much to him,he was a happy and contented chap as he drifted off for a few minutes.

He was awoken with a start. An awful clanging noise and a chill wind. Startled,he looked up only to see a skeletal white haired figure before him.

“Blinkin’ flip”,said MacDuck. “Is that Boab Kelly?!!!”

“Listen,young man. Respect your elders. It’s Sir Robert to you.”

“Ehbutehbutwhatareyoudoinghere?”

“I’m here to give you some advice,MacDuck A lesson,if you will. I know you never listen,but I suggest you do. I am only the first of three who will visit you tonight,but you can vow to change at any time,the others will stay away.”

“What advice can you give me,Boab? Great team and 27000 every week,same wi a crap team which was your norm. And aye I know you were creaming the takings,try Β£2.3m.”

Sir Robert took an eye as withering as his arm to MacDuck.

“See,son,I thought I knew it all. And I made bloody sure that no-one at Celtic could tell me any different. I micromanaged before the word had even been invented. I picked the team. Not the manager.”

MacDuck feebly responded that he really picked the team,if I don’t sign the players,what’s a man to do?

Sir Robert simply asked one question. Why do you think I got a knighthood? Wee clue,think of me as The Ghost of Lisbon Past.

“Well,because you won The European Cup,Boab.”

“Naw,ya prick.it was because someone pointed out to me that I was shite at running the team and it could be done better. I got a knighthood for listening to one big scary guy,and he gave me everything I could ever dream of. And I never once signed a player that he didn’t want,or refused to sign one that he targeted. Think about that.”

Oh,I have,Boab. I control things much more than you ever did.

Before MacDuck could react,Boab had disappeared. A quick shake of the head,and another wee nap before home time.

And then it happened again,another apparition. And this was worse. A wee fella wi a transatlantic accent,rubbing a thin dime between his thumb and forefinger.

And still with the chains.

“Aw,come on,you’re not even dead,you canny be a vision from hell”

It was Mack Tinney. He had saved the emporium from bankruptcy nearly 25 years ago,and walked away with a fortune. A fortune that most men could only dream of,but that MacDuck had every intention of beating.

Mack had always got on MacDuck’s nipples,that accent,always being right. But he wasn’t dead,so why was he seeing this guy in chains?

“Well,young man,you have to realise that I’m only a figment of your imagination,of course I’m not dead. I’m not a dream,like Sir Robert Kelly. I’m your worst nightmare.”

“No,young man. You say I’m not dead,and I’m not,yet you see me in the same shackles of the dead like Sir Robert. I’m a dream,and your worst nightmare,because these shackles are the same as those of Sir Robert. They are the shackles of our imagination. I didn’t have the imagination when I owned my club,our club. Maybe Sir Robert did,but neither of us had the money to let our imaginations run free.”

“No,you’re not”said MacDuck. “You’re history. No-one liked you and hardly anyone gives a monkey’s about what you did in 1994. You wrecked your legacy.”

“We were shackled,MacDuck. But we meant well,and we spent when we could. And we trusted our managers,hell,I even allowed one to bring in his old pal. And what a player Moravcik turned out to be. Because I trusted my managers,and you need to do that too. Because I am the Ghost of Christmas Present,even in your mind I am here to give you a warning about the future. And remember,I am only held in high regard because of you,and for that I am very grateful,young man.

You might not like The Ghost of Christmas To Come. But only you can decide whether that Christmas to Come becomes reality.”

MacDuck sat back in his chair and contemplated taking cheese off the menu in future. These apparitions were scary,he knew he was doing the right thing,but suppose deep down he knew he wasn’t. Ah,to hell with it,I’ll deal with it tomorrow,he thought. At that,he turned off the piped sound of the tills ringing and walked out of his office.

He got up from his desk,and aw blinkin flip those bloody clanking chains again. He was used to it by this time and nothing was gonna scare him. Certainly not The Ghost of Christmas to Come.

Fuck naw,Desmond White???!!!!! I promise I’ll change,I swear I’ll change!!!!!

Notify of

Great stuff M
MacDuck, aye alright….
Have a great Christmas mi amigo
Am near to blootered, been partaking in the good vino tonight πŸ˜‰
HH

Hi,K.

Love hugs and kisses to you and yours. I’d been thinking about this article for a while,but just wrote it in a wanner,as it came. Probably missed out some of the things I’d thought about over the last few days,but heyho…

You should do an article,mate. You have a lot to say,especially about your treatment by certain sites which banned you for actually being right.

Mail it to me along with tomorrow’s Euromillions numbers,there’s a good lad. And do your best for Valencia.

Stay off the whisky,that means more for me. Just cracked one open,not working till 7pm on Wednesday. You never know,I might be sober enough to cook dinner tomorrow!

Thanks M
I will think about it, I have been thinking about it.
As for Valencia, can’t see it, TBO isny the may west, we were nearly going to the hospital tonight, her BP is so low she should be comatose, but in a way it’s a blessing as high BP she wouldn’t be here, you takes your chances mi amigo.

big packy

ah desmond white a blast from the past, even I remember him, merry xmas m, stay off the whisky that’s more for me to drink.hh

Keith,

Give Jan a huge Christmas hug from me,pal. And another one at New Year. And every week after that.

I know she’s not keeping too well,and I hope that a wee multiple summons upstairs from the folks on here will do a wee bit of good.

I talk to Him on occasion,fortunately he hasn’t answered back yet!

BIGPACKY

White is probably my most loathed board member.

Which takes some doing.

big packy

majoc what about the rest?? anyway how you doin haven’t heard from you for a while.hh.

Funnily enough Jan and I were having a convo about yer man upstairs today, and about the different ways to get to him, a very confusing state of affairs if I may say so, I gave up talking to him a while back.
Anyways, let’s hope the next year is a good one πŸ˜‰
HH

mahe

BP,,, it’s actually Christmas dinner time almost , they do it on the 24th here for some reason. Nae turkey though.
You’re on the whisky?
What’s this I hear you have a Shawaddywaddy album ? πŸ˜‰

big packy

HI MAHE merry xmas to you and yours, and thanks to you and majoc for this great site, yes on the Glenmorangie best whisky ever, showaddywaddy no, status quo yes.hh buddy.

They have a big family thing here as well tonight, they do it all over again on the 6th Jan, Coptic, we used to go down to one of our neighbours but after he robbed me blind and stole my trailer, then sold it, he hasn’t talked to me since then so they have stopped inviting us, strange things are folks, me thinks he is a tad embarrassed πŸ˜‰

He didn’t steal my trailer, he borrowed it, then he sold it, must tell the truth now πŸ˜‰

big packy

THE EXILED TIM im nearly blootered but if you want me to come over and sort that guy out let me know??

BIGPACKY

JVR who recently posted on here could probably give you more details about the disaster that was the 77-78 season,but Jock was given a Β£40k striker who was a good centre half eventually-Tom McAdam-and a Β£10k WTF from Fulham reserves called John Dowie.

To replace the best player in Europe. Just after he had lost the like of Hay Connelly Johnstone Deans Glavin Murray and on top of that,McGrain and Stanton. I’m not even sure that scratches the surface,but we signed Mike Conroy from Port Glasgow Juniors on the Monday and played him on the Saturday against Hibs.

We got gubbed 4-1 and he was the best player on the pitch.

That season was a disaster,but White took his chance,forced Jock out. I’m not bothered about the derisory job offers he got from within the club after that,he was a giant brought down by pygmies.

And it was White who did so. He can roast in hun helll for me.

big packy

hi majoc, interesting, as you know I was down here then, the things about your club that you don’t know ,anyway have a good Christmas you deserve it.hh.

BP
It’s sorted, he can’t/won’t ask me to help him ever again, and there have been so may times he wanted to, like when he gets his leccy cut off, his water cut off, some folks just can’t help cutting off their nose to spite their face, his loss no mine πŸ˜‰

BIGPACKY

Wee thumbs-up to you and Joan for Christmas and for the year ahead. I’m not an animal lover,as you know,though I would never harm one,but you two deserve a huge thumbs up for what you did for your friend recently,and for her own wee pal.

That’s what good people do.

What really was White’s problem with Mr Stein ?
I have heard a few stories and I honestly don’t know what to believe

mahe

BP,,,Status quo? Not too bad I admit . They must be getting on now in years .
Tell Joan I reckon the Pool will lift that title this year, play decent footie also .
Happy Christmas partner Hail Hail

THEEXILEDTIM

AFAIK,White was brought up with Celtic as his birthright. He was far from pleased when Sir Bob handed over the reins to Jock.

Can you remember reading back through,say,the 1958 World Cup and Scotland teams are being picked by committee. Like they had always been. That was Celtic,the manager had little say. Yet even as far back as the 20s,Herbert Chapman was proving that a manager is the way forward.

Nearly SIXTY years later,that wank fired and then humiliated Jock.

Jock Stein is a legend in our club. White is a stain.

mahe

Majoc, and that’s why I’ve never sat in the Whyte stand but have sat a few times in the Jock .
Something I would ask , did Jock recognise that he should take someone under his wingas future manager ? I mean did he want Big Billy to succeed him? That was Fergie big mistake imo, not taking someone under the wing and making them run the show when he’s gone creating a dynasty.
Hail Hail

Rebus67

Well that was a different Xmas Eve. Just back from Emerg at the local hospital. Six hours of my life gone but for good purpose. Yesterday, I had a dizzy turn in the supermarket. After getting packed off to bed, I awoke this morning feeling washed out. So, no more excuses Mrs Rebus ferried me to Emerg. Where I had lots of tests to rule out the big stuff. They could not diagnose what it was but they reckon it is not life threatening. Maybe an inner ear issue.

There were some seriously ill people there. Two heart attacks, two sick babies and people whiter than a sheet. Some were alone, some had caring friends and relatives. Some were sedate and patient, others were brats.

Amidst all of this, one doctor and three/four nurses kept calm and provided help on a triage basis in a small cottage hospital. Saints all of them!

Today was another learning experience about what and who are really important.

Have a great Christmas tomorrow……and celebrate your version of it.

Rebus

MAHE

I very much doubt that Jock was doing succession planning,bar what he had in his team. As for Fergie,I said at the time that his greatest achievement was to win his final title with that team.

They were out of it,mate. That team needed rebuilt from top to bottom,bar De Gea. Yet Smalling,Jones,Valencia,Young are still first picks five years later.

Think about what Ferguson did when he moved down there. Who were his first signings. Bruce and Pallister.

Sort your defence,let the skill players show off. That Man U defence is a shambles,and has been for years.

Margaret McGill

A Tale of two titties?
Very clever majoc.
Im assuming its you. πŸ™‚

Margaret McGill

Maybe the terror that everything could be undone with a tattoo??

Mike in toronto

Merry Christmas everyone.

Rebus, take care of yourself.

mahe

Majoc , Swallex first signing was Viv Anderson as he was a tee to taller especially. Out went Whiteside , the gifted womanizing drinker first thing !
Happy Christmas partner !!!

mahe

Rebus,,look after yourself ffs . Happy Christmas pal. Hail Hsil

REBUS

Just delighted you’re fine,mate. If you’re like me,you think you’re indestructible. Then maybe you find out you aren’t.

I somehow contracted double pneumonia in April,never really needed NHS help before,but by eck,I was so glad to have it. Ten days,and I didn’t want to leave,but…

I knew I would. The sad thing was that the others in the ward almost definitely wouldn’t. I asked one of the nurses how they coped with the likes of the fella in the next bed,knowing what he was destined for.

She said she gives him just that little more attention than she gave me because he needs it more. And I knew what she meant.

Got me,Mags. I hadn’t noticed that I’d forgotten to credit it,or take the blame.

How’s trix?

True,but Anderson was also a defender. Didn’t know he was teetotal,must have gone down a treat with Cloughie. Loved that man,fantastic manager-with Peter Taylor-in his prime.

Margaret McGill
big packy

happy Christmas to everyone have a great day.??hh.

Merry Christmas BP

Gold

Merry Christmas to all and a peaceful, healrhy, prosperous, and Happy New Year

big packy

merry xmas jim have a good day.hh.

big packy

merry xmas gold, missed your posts, come back on please.hh.

The Gombeen Man

Merry Christmas everyone.
Thanks to Mahe, majoc and SeS for setting up the blog.
Good to see Gold back too.

Great read majoc,

Have a great day and here’s to tomorrow.

HH

FAIRHILL BHOY

Merry Christmas everyone,have a good time ?

Sol Kitts

Merry Christmas everyone from a chilly Essex.

I cant begin to say enough happy Christmasses on here for everyone. It’s a lovely new informative and entertaining site.

SES, get back on soon, you are missed.

All blogs are multi-purpose. The best for facts and figures is SFM. But it’s down to handfuls of posts per day. Everything has been said time and again. So it’s good this site is wider. A few weeks ago someone on CQN complained about non football posts. And yet when I read back the self same poster was very active in the discussions about IndyRef and Brexit! Who cares? As long as it’s polite. We are all friends.

mahe

Jtt53,,and a big Merry Christmas to yerself Sir.
Thanks for the compliments, with your help the site shall live for another wee while yet.
She woke at 4.45 am ,, up early here on Christmas morning with the best present I ever got , wee Fionnuala!
Hail Hail

Rebus67

Merry Christmas, everyone. Come back now, Gold.

Rebus

Rebus67

Mahe,

A great name, she has! I have a David, Michael and Daniel….very biblical but purely by accident.

They have their kids and are enjoying Family Christmas in Canada, Sweden and the UK.

Best wishes to everyone!

Rebus

Take care Rebus, and Happy Christmas.

I know I headed this article with Bah,humbug! but what the hell…

Merry Christmas to one and all.

Santa’s drank all my cooking sherry,selfish basturt. Fortunately he didnae find the good stuff.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x56w41t

Garry Duncan

Cracking bit of writing M.
Peace and Love and Happy Christmas to all here on SentinelCelts.
Thank you Eminem for giving us this advert free Celtic site. Magic work you both do.??????

Merry Christmas everyone.
2/3 of the way through dinner, decided this year to have it in three sittings, just the desert to go, that will be about six ish, then it will be retire to bed to watch the tele πŸ˜‰
Canny wait for the football, it hasn’t been but it seems ages since we played, weird or what.