The Teddy Bears Picnic
Not much happening of note down The Glasgow Celtic Way,but plenty of fun to be had over at the crumbledome. Firstly we had the ludicrous sight of Dave King casting himself as Tom Cruise as he shouted “Show Me The Money!!!” to his ever-credulous follow followers.
I mean,it’s not even Easter yet and he’s demanding cash up front to cover the club’s costs from now till about August when the football actually starts. What he’ll use then is anyone’s guess but I’m betting that it won’t involve any ill-gotten South African Rands.
Naturally,his statement was full of big words from the Fat Jabba Compendium of Words I Used At The Herald. But not concomitant this time,it seems that is actually posh slang for wanker. Anyway,your humble correspondent cut through the crap and this is what King actually said:-
“Haw lads and lasses,gonna stump up the cash pdq cos wur back so we ur and one more push will do it.”
Good one,son. He could always ask Club 1872 for more cash but short of raising the subscription fee by renaming it Club 2012,they cannot help. Rumours persist,of course,that a goodly proportion of those subscriptions are from questionable sources who will definitely want something,erm,tangible to show for their investments. Something like Share Certificates,perhaps.
Of course,they could easily purchase those shares from the Easdales. That would make sense,wouldn’t it? After all,the principle behind Club 1872 was to raise capital to finance a fan shareholding in the club. Wasn’t it?
We know now though that it is being used to purchase shares FROM the club in order to directly finance the loss making operation. Shares which couldn’t even be issued until the amendment passed recently in order to get King out of a hole with The Takeover Panel.
Ach,they deserve each other-but I’m sure The Takeover Panel haven’t gone away!
Another one who hasn’t gone away is Mike Ashley. Nor is he likely to. Clearly fed up with being thwarted in the Scottish masonic court system,he took them to The High Court in London yesterday. I think Ashley will be looking for a few quid from Sevco as he had a bad time recently at the Debenhams sale. As it looks a cut-and -dried case,he looks like he is onto a winner. Sevco promised,following earlier court action,to permit Sports Direct to sell their brand exclusively-then entered into partnership with a rival retailer to sell the duff in direct competition! King will need more than smoke and mirrors and a few big words to wriggle out of this one.
One court case which didn’t involve King should still have him biting his fingernails though. Sevco5088 went to court against Sevco Scotland over original ownership of the post-liquidation entity. Honestly,you’d have to be Perry Mason to keep up with all of this,but I think that Craig Whyte sold his interests in the holding company which he originally used to buy the huns from Murray. That company-which may or may not have Whyte as a shareholder-took Charles Green’s company to court for an action thought to be at least £5m,and could ultimately decide who legally owns the current company based at Ibrox.
Which should worry King,because Charles Green’s company is the one that King currently owns!
I think,it all gets very confusing…
The one person in this entire scam who has legged it clear of the resultant omnishambles-which is rather ironic!-is Teflon David Murray. Except that the EBT bills are currently thudding onto the doormats,a wee Easter bunny from Hector. And his bill is anywhere from £3-6 million,depending on the penalties. And the huns love penalties,don’t they? These ones,maybe not so much.
So as you can see,it’s all about the money with the huns,and anyone who has any will soon have quite a bit less. Almost restores my faith in human nature,that does.
The one piece of news yesterday from Celtic Park was one which I suggested on Monday might be the case,but which I was dreading nevertheless. Ryan Christie will need reconstructive facial surgery after being assaulted on Sunday. I suggested then that he would need a plastic surgeon,might I suggest now that he consider a lawyer too?
Another Christie had slightly better news yesterday as he looks to be on the mend after a heart attack. Get Well Soon,Kevin Christie.
Above article by BMCUWP. If you would like to contribute an article,mail it to Mahe