Dallas No More
You know the saying-The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree.
Well,apparently that’s a load of nonsense. If it falls too near to the tree and a pip takes root into a sapling,it will wither and die. It is denied sunlight by the shadow of its parent. I’ve always wondered whether I could work that into an article!
Some of you are probably aware of a somewhat hubristic comment I made a few months back about these articles writing themselves. Well,I was driving around in circles last night for a good few hours,trying to think of a topic-and I came up blank!
Nothing,nada,zilch. And I don’t want to launch our Summertime Special just yet as it by definition only contains ten articles. And I’ve not written them yet.
But God Is Good. Apparently He persuaded Andrew Dallas to resign from the list of FIFA referees yesterday,just so I would have something to write about. Ya beauty…
Now,the question is,when your Dad is responsible for the appointment of match officials-and has been responsible for greasing your path to the big money big leagues all your life-why would you decide to voluntarily remove yourself from a list which guarantees you lots of lovely moolah and plenty of fully-expensed luxury travel and accommodation?
Well,I can exclusively reveal that young Master Dallas suffers from travel sickness and has reluctantly come to the conclusion that foreign climes,strange menus where succulent lamb simply isn’t available,and worst of all them airplane things where the driver won’t give him a go are just not for him. On top of that,he doesn’t fancy queuing at Passport Control like a common pleb after Brexit.
It’s not like he needs the money,never mind the hassle. He can get two domestic matches a week most weeks at £800 a pop,and that’s not bad for pocket money,is it?
But having climbed aboard the gravy train,why give it up-and at such a young age too. Blimey,he only started shaving last year. I’m not sure I can answer that,but you can draw your own conclusions.
I recall that quite recently a retired referee pointed out that it takes fifteen years to get to the top,so why would a referee jeopardise all that hard work by refereeing in an obviously partial manner. I think it was after the Ne’erday game at Ibrox,in reference to John Beaton. Strangely,Beaton and Dallas were classed as Grade One by their early twenties,so presumably they couldn’t get a game with their pals at school. Surely they weren’t fast tracked for other reasons?
It certainly couldn’t have been natural ability,that’s for sure. In fact,our referees are held in such low esteem on their travels abroad that the President of FIFA was moved to make a passionate plea in their defence.
That came about,of course,after a string of embarrassing displays abroad,in European club and international football. SOUTHOFTUNIS and THEEXILEDTIM in particular have kept us updated over the years on the opinions from outside our own shores-and none of them have made pleasant reading.
Yet all of these referees are held in high esteem in their own country,and are rarely if ever held to account for their wrong decisions. In England,referees are routinely downgraded for that-after being hauled over the coals in the press. Not in Scotland,it’s a closed shop. Criticism is forbidden unless you are stupid enough to let a Celtic player take a free kick about two yards further back than where the offence took place! I give you The Season of Honest Mistakes as a prime example-not to mention the strike,the first time I’ve ever been in favour of a lock-out!!!
No,I think the reason that Dallas has chucked it lies in the above paragraph. The FIFA list isn’t simply By Appointment. It is retained on merit,albeit that referees are put forward initially by their parent organisation. If the ratings fall below a certain level,you will be downgraded-though it is a rare occurrence. Those ratings are from the teams involved,the FIFA observer and the referee supervisor.
His must have been woeful and he decided to fall on his sword the minute his Dad found out about it. I hope Old Shug slapped his arse for him!
Above article by BMCUWP. You can help us out by submitting an article of your own for posting as Article of the Day. Once you’ve done one,they’ll just,erm,write themselves!
Mail it to Mahe at