Dallas No More

You know the saying-The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree.

Well,apparently that’s a load of nonsense. If it falls too near to the tree and a pip takes root into a sapling,it will wither and die. It is denied sunlight by the shadow of its parent. I’ve always wondered whether I could work that into an article!

Some of you are probably aware of a somewhat hubristic comment I made a few months back about these articles writing themselves. Well,I was driving around in circles last night for a good few hours,trying to think of a topic-and I came up blank!

Nothing,nada,zilch. And I don’t want to launch our Summertime Special just yet as it by definition only contains ten articles. And I’ve not written them yet.

But God Is Good. Apparently He persuaded Andrew Dallas to resign from the list of FIFA referees yesterday,just so I would have something to write about. Ya beauty…

Now,the question is,when your Dad is responsible for the appointment of match officials-and has been responsible for greasing your path to the big money big leagues all your life-why would you decide to voluntarily remove yourself from a list which guarantees you lots of lovely moolah and plenty of fully-expensed luxury travel and accommodation?

Well,I can exclusively reveal that young Master Dallas suffers from travel sickness and has reluctantly come to the conclusion that foreign climes,strange menus where succulent lamb simply isn’t available,and worst of all them airplane things where the driver won’t give him a go are just not for him. On top of that,he doesn’t fancy queuing at Passport Control like a common pleb after Brexit.

It’s not like he needs the money,never mind the hassle. He can get two domestic matches a week most weeks at £800 a pop,and that’s not bad for pocket money,is it?

But having climbed aboard the gravy train,why give it up-and at such a young age too. Blimey,he only started shaving last year. I’m not sure I can answer that,but you can draw your own conclusions.

I recall that quite recently a retired referee pointed out that it takes fifteen years to get to the top,so why would a referee jeopardise all that hard work by refereeing in an obviously partial manner. I think it was after the Ne’erday game at Ibrox,in reference to John Beaton. Strangely,Beaton and Dallas were classed as Grade One by their early twenties,so presumably they couldn’t get a game with their pals at school. Surely they weren’t fast tracked for other reasons?

It certainly couldn’t have been natural ability,that’s for sure. In fact,our referees are held in such low esteem on their travels abroad that the President of FIFA was moved to make a passionate plea in their defence.


That came about,of course,after a string of embarrassing displays abroad,in European club and international football. SOUTHOFTUNIS and THEEXILEDTIM in particular have kept us updated over the years on the opinions from outside our own shores-and none of them have made pleasant reading.

Yet all of these referees are held in high esteem in their own country,and are rarely if ever held to account for their wrong decisions. In England,referees are routinely downgraded for that-after being hauled over the coals in the press. Not in Scotland,it’s a closed shop. Criticism is forbidden unless you are stupid enough to let a Celtic player take a free kick about two yards further back than where the offence took place! I give you The Season of Honest Mistakes as a prime example-not to mention the strike,the first time I’ve ever been in favour of a lock-out!!!

No,I think the reason that Dallas has chucked it lies in the above paragraph. The FIFA list isn’t simply By Appointment. It is retained on merit,albeit that referees are put forward initially by their parent organisation. If the ratings fall below a certain level,you will be downgraded-though it is a rare occurrence. Those ratings are from the teams involved,the FIFA observer and the referee supervisor.

His must have been woeful and he decided to fall on his sword the minute his Dad found out about it. I hope Old Shug slapped his arse for him!


Above article by BMCUWP. You can help us out by submitting an article of your own for posting as Article of the Day. Once you’ve done one,they’ll just,erm,write themselves!

Mail it to Mahe at


Notify of

Grateful thanks to VIDEOCELTS for the information on his resignation. Apologies for not referencing that in the article.

All of our Canadian correspondents will be delighted as Toronto Raptors go 3-1 ahead with three to play. On the verge of taking the NBA out of the US for the first time ever.

Expect Trump to impose travel restrictions and sanctions.

Andrew Dallas. What ever happened to that rebellious streak in teenagers which says that although you love and respect your father you are not a carbon copy of him? Why didn’t he try to be the best referee in the world? Respected by everybody?

These guys must exist. But our referees are the laughing stock of the world. Even in the media.

When will the SFA wake up? Fleming is the root of it all. Get rid! Being a mason is not the best reason to be a referee it is much further than that. Be the best is what it is all about. I reckon The Lions Roar had an exaggerated view on everything but the SFA & the refereeing community is indeed rank rotten.

Noel Skytrot

To quote the lyrics from the Quadrofenians song, ” now under Tony Mowbray we took it on the chin, but now under Lennon your lies are wearing thin, I say hey, hey fuck the SFA, they say that we’re all paranoid, but we know what to say, fuck the SFA.” These lyrics are in reference to the ‘honest mistakes’ that we seem to always be on the end of by the cabal. Good riddance to an absolute fuckwit who clearly favoured the Williamites. Four penalties in one game last season, jog on Dallas, you won’t be missed.

Twists n turns

Bobby, what a cynical and suspicious mind you have sir. You assume he’s facing demotion. You assume he doesn’t need the money.
I think a more logical explanation is staring you in the face.

On his travels across Europe in his capacity as a referee, young Mr Dallas, is sitting in his hotel bedroom rather bored and has forgot to pack his copy of “ how to referee fairly and impartially”.

In search of reading material he has looked in the bedside cabinet in his hotel and found the bible which normally resides there courtesy of the Gideon’s.

He’s opened it and turned to Proverbs 10:9

“Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways”

Yes I’m certain this is what’s happened. A moment of enlightenment.

Twists n turns


big packy

BOBBY, is this the turning point in our lives, no more orange masonic bassas in the black, will kevin Clancy and wullie collum be the new bhoys on the block.hh.

Dharma Bam

Good morning,
I saw the headline of this article and did a quick search on Andrew Dallas; not a result about his resignation. It must just be really, really breaking news!
Well done BMCUWP.
Unfortunately, he hasn’t resigned from the list of Scottish referees.
And finally,
There are plenty of “proddy dogs ” I’ve been glad to see play for Celtic.

Twists n turns

Aff oot … to quote ma auld pal Kev

A thing of beauty

Gordon64, thanks for that link. I had a quick read then as you do, clicked on the other stuff on the sidebar. I went into the birthday honours list to discover that Brian Donohoe has been awarded a knights bachelor (whatever the flip that is.) Honestly an honour for a man who was MP for a nearby constituency for 10 years between 2005 and 2015. A time when scottish labour managed to lose their core vote and the area continued to suffer from some of the highest levels of deprivation in the country. Did this concern mr donohoe? Did he take to his feet in the house to draw attention to the wasteland this particular part of Scotland had become? He may have but I don’t remember him tub thumping about it, that’s for sure. What I do remember is him using his parliamentary privilege to plead the case of his beloved football team. That’s right, the same team that had robbed the public purse to the tune of £100m plus. Good work Brian. Glad to see it helped cost you your seat in 2015 but I’m sure all those funny handshakes and sips from the loving cup will give you succour in your dotage.



Seems you will have to call him Sir now. Look on the bright side-that title is a letter less than the one you normally give him!


Sorry,I should have made it more clear that we are stuck with the wee Son Of Dallas sod-see what I did there!-here in Scotland.

Though I suspect that the press in England would be on him like a shot if he worked down there,asking why his performances aren’t good enough for Europe,etc,but good enough for the domestic game.

He’d be out of the game entirely in no time.


I can’t wait till SOD gets to,I think,Mark 8.36.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul


Henke perhaps making a return to Paradise to join Lenny’s coaching staff??? I was ridiculed for suggesting the very same thing on another blog a few weeks ago. However stranger things have happened – or is it another ‘look a squirrel’ moment to deflect attention away from our less than exciting signing targets? (thus far).
Meanwhile on another planet Real Madrid are about to sign a Chelsea player for £150 million. What ever happened to financial fair play and how long can the ludicrous situation of players being signed for such outrageous sums continue?


Hence might not be a bad idea,mate. I think we can all agree that Eddy isn’t playing as a natural striker-but neither was KOK when we signed him. If anyone can show him how to make the transition,make the best of the attributes he has,it’s Henrik.

Although we might need to get Lubo back to educate one of our midfielders on how to help do that!

That’s not a bad plan, Henrik and Lubo as coaches!

bada bing1

Stay where you are Henrik, a couple of bad results, and the rags will be clamouring for him to get the job, which he is nowhere near good enough. This stinks of a Lawwell move,as he knows a lot of the support, are not enamored with Neil being appointed manager.

Por cierto

Celtic may bring in Henrik as a coach, it’s a squirrel. Celtic may bring in Gary Parker to assist Neil Lennon, club showing no ambition. Jeez oh, chastised if you do, chastised if you don’t! We are doing a really good job of creating this “negativity” around the club, I do despair sometimes, I really do. Por cierto.


Dallas probably resigned so he can pursue his dream of a sevco trophy or title.
Even in the best wee country it would have been difficult to retain the cheating hun and allow him and his sfa cohorts to give their best efforts on behalf of sevco if he been deemed not fit for purpose by fifa.
I am sure the sfa will have promised to make up for any shortfall from his undeserved fifa gig.
We can expect his cheating to be ramped up as it has no impact on his career other than positive in the best wee country.

bada bing1

I see Mikael ‘legs have gone’ Lustig, played the full 90 minutes for Sweden last night.

bada bing1

The Dallas stuff is a move,he will be back on the list next year as ‘the most improved referee in the country…’,i smell shite….

Who would you rather have? Henrik taking our forwards under his wing. Lubo showing how to deal with free kicks, corners, throw-ins? John Kennedy? Or Lenny? Don’t make me laugh. Remember Lenny was Celtic’s version of square baw Barry. Thanks Martin O’Neil.

bada bing1

Por Cierto- imagine we lost a midweek European game on the Wednesday, then to Sevco on the Saturday? Can you see where this would go re Larsson?


Henrik is one of the greatest Celts of all time.
If he is coming as a supporters liaison appointment it would be great.
But he is being touted as a coach.
He got a Swedish club relegated in his last coaching gig.
To date his coaching career has been poor.
Where does that make him seem a qualified candidate for a coaching job at Celtic?

There is a difference between being a manager and a coach on a one to one level.



but I’m sure all those funny handshakes and SIPS from the loving cup will give you succour in your dotage.
could you possibly rephrase that.☹️

Excellent warts and all piece about Maradona and Napoli.



Well,knowing my sister,she’d rather PISS in the loving cup.


To be honest,I loved Lenny as a player. He did what it says on the tin. Read the play,broke down the attack,passed it to a player who could do something with it.

No frills and no fannying about!


In life being great at something does not necessarily mean that person has the ability to translate the gift to others.
Ronny Delia was knowledgable and innovative as a coach but he lacked the ability to implement such on the field of play.
Jock Stein was the polar opposite to that of a rugged no nonsense defender who managed to produce and coach one of the greatest attacking teams of all time.
We certainly could do with a set piece specialist or even just someone on the bench who can spot that McGregor’s high floaty free kicks and corners are dreadful.


Por cierto

My suggestions for ending ‘negativity’ surrounding the club would be.

1. Our custodians start showing actions that actually live up to their oft repeated mantra of Celtic being a ‘Well run club’. Such as undertaking a full and exhaustive search for a modern football manager in the mould of the previous incumbent. Not offering someone a job in a shower room after a hastily convened board meeting, allegedly fueled by the complimentary VIP buffet booze.
Not admitting that they haven’t even looked at applications from interested parties for the managers position.
2. At least make an effort to sign some quality players rather than the endless list of projects and championship / SPFL level players we are being linked with at the moment as evidenced by most of the names on the embarrassing ‘transfer gate’ document.
3. Actually have a transfer window where the playing squad is enhanced rather than the squad being denuded of talent.
4. Spending more on a player than fancy disco lights and grass seeds.
5. etc etc


OGLACH @1-17

Ronny got off to a bad start, admitted. But from November until the end of the season we played some lovely football. He might even have got a treble if it were not for the ‘men’ in black. But then he lost the dressing room. I don’t know why. That idiot making a show of it on TV when he was subbed should be barred from Celtic Park. Brendan Rodgers was clever. He knew the squad were in disarray. So he got Broonie down to London for his dinner. Sorted. This management thing is easy.

Hello edit facility


Canny argue with any of that,mate. Print it out and send it to DD. Make sure PL doesn’t get a sniff of it though!


The Ronny roar was more exciting than the football his team produced.
He did have a good spell the second half of first season and was robbed of a treble by the establishment.
But for the majority of his time with us we never produced the football he promised, envisaged .


Your post last night about corruption and dreadful infrastructure in the US fascinated me. I seem to recall that Trump went large on spending FOUR TRILLION DOLLARS on repairing the infrastructure and also on “cleaning out the swamp.”

Surely he wasn’t lying to you? Yet your adopted countrymen fell for it? Dear me,that would be as daft as us back home believing that a lying tory shitebag would even think of spending a non-existent £350m a week on the NHS.

Any chance of expanding on it as an off-topic article? I have a sneaking feeling that this close season is unlikely to provide much for us to write about!

What’s happened to the edit facility?

Bobby, mine’s is still working.


Strange stuff,mine told me it was no longer available.

Bobby, a lot of people and systems dont like moderators and site owners. But never fear I love you and Mahe. And Packy when he is talking to me. 🙂


Bobby, many thanks for today’s food for thought. It wasn’t coming outta this brain last night that’s for sure.

Henke,,please no. Don’t ruin your legacy. And what a legacy!

Fan-a-tic, I smiled reading about big pot holes in certain states etc as driving into Nevada from California the roads go from fine to barely drivable that hurts your car. Cracks me up you can see the difference at the welcome sign literally.
Jersey though,,I thought Guliani cleaned up the mob. Then again talk is cheap. They’ll never fully leave I expect.
The dublin mobs are a nightmare at the minute ffs.

Hail Hail


Didn’t even realise Ireland were playing Estonia today. Nice bonus even if I am busy.


bada bing1

I wonder if Elvis Costello will accept his OBE….

Order of Blessed Elvis.

bada bing1

JTT-I remember him on a TV show about 30 years ago, he was asked why he was never in the Scouts,he said because he would never swear allegiance to the Queen….?


Womens world cup?
What a lot of pish.

bada bing1

Superstore at Poundland has been dubbed up. Speculation that it has something to do with the judgement pending from the court case.

1 2 3 5