Who’s Got The Balls For It?


In just over one hundred hours from now,we will probably have a better idea of how our season is going to shape up. By that time we will have played our first six-pointer of the season,our visit to The Big Hoose-which must stay open,even though UEFA are likely soon to drive a coach and horses through that particular plan. That,of course,comes hot on the heels of both teams having an important match in Europe tomorrow evening.

And then there is the imminent closure of the transfer window at 11pm on Monday night. I’d say that if we carry out our business competently in each of the three we can confidently look forward to a bright and cheerful nine months.

Of course,if we had carried out our business in a competent and timely manner when we should have done,none of these three events would be causing us the slightest concern. But we didn’t,and the post-mortems on here and elsewhere won’t matter one jot to the suits who will clap each other on the back at the AGM,vote the old boys club back into their positions of power and carry on ignoring us.

(As an aside,in the film version of Carry On Ignoring Us,who would play the main characters from our particular farce of a board? Discuss.)

Back to the fitba’ and we will start with tomorrow night. Celtic gained a 2-0 victory at home against AIK Stockholm last week,an excellent result which puts us on a good footing for the return leg. However,our defensive frailties were still apparent despite the clean sheet,and I suspect we will have to score over there to ensure progress. Worse,I haven’t a clue how Lenny is going to set out the team,or who he is going to play!

I think we will have Craig Gordon back in goals,with Kris Ajer and Boli as the full backs. I’m pretty sure he will play Christopher Jullien at centre-half-but will he pair him with Jozo or Nir? My feeling is that it will be Jozo,so let’s hope he can keep the heid for the ninety minutes.

Up front will surely be I Wanna,with probably James Forrest wide right. I’m thinking he won’t go with a wide player on the left,as Boli and Eddie both prefer to come in from that side anyway. That frees up four places in midfield.

We already know that one of them will be Broonie,and I’d be amazed if he didn’t pick CalMac and Ryan Christie. That leaves the final place to be fought over by Ollie,Nir and Michael Johnston. Whichever one he picks will define whether CalMac plays a deeper or a more advanced role. I have a feeling that he will go for the more disciplined approach of Nir,even though I’d hardly rate as his biggest fan. Personally I would leave him on the bench as cover in defence or midfield,and play Ollie. But I don’t pick the team.

As I said,I think we have to score the away goal on the night-but over on the other side of the divide,TRIFCo have to avoid losing one! After a scoreless draw in Warsaw,they need the same again plus penalties-otherwise they have to win on the night. I think the huns will be bricking it,if I’m honest. And I’m equally sure that Legia will fancy their chances of a goal. I hope they get a few. And I think they will,certainly enough to progress. I’ll be looking at the fixed odds coupon that morning for sure,and I can feel a wee punt coming on.

Should the above come to pass,Sunday will take on a different look. The masonic distress signals will have been flying back and forth for the previous 48 hours or more,and we will have our backs against the wall even more than is normally the case.

They will have seen the disappearance of a near-£10m income stream,and will be faced with the inevitability of losing their only two saleable assets-and at fire sale prices. Prices much nearer to their true value,I should add. Sunday’s result will therefore become the be-all and end-all not only of their season,but also very possibly their very existence. The officials on the day will know their responsibilities but there is a limit to what they can do.

That limit is in our own hands. We simply cannot give them the opportunity to influence the result on the day. We have to be ferocious in midfield,tackle and press,don’t let them settle,don’t let them get the ball forward to Polaris Defoe or The Colombian Marching King. We have to be vigilant defensively too,no losing your man or being caught out of position. Up front,we have to take every bliddy chance that we get,none of this five attempts to get one on target. Be clinical,their defence is garbage anyway.

And at all times,be disciplined. We can’t allow the officials to scream RedCardRedCard into their mikes. Just don’t give them the chance!

Win on Sunday and we can put them in their box. Especially if they have been turfed out of Europe tomorrow night as well. This is a big few days for us. And for them.

Who’s got the balls for it?


Above article by BMCUWP. My last word till our First Anniversary Edition on Saturday,so yeezuraw allowed to relax for a bit! Take the time then to write your own Article of the Day. We are always delighted to hear your thoughts,and we always publish ASAP. Mail it to Mahe


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Twists n turns

Two short seasons ago, I was heading into a match v them with my sons and two grandsons. I distinctly remember one of my grandsons asking me “ Grandad, what do you think the score will be, do you think Celtic will win?”

A grandad knows everything of course. A source of knowledge and wisdom on everything. I told my grandson “ I’ve been coming to these matches for around 50 years, and I’ve never been so confident. We will thump them 5-1”

He looked a bit unsure.

I took great pride as we made our way back to the car as he told me “ you were right grandad”. Not only had we demolished them, my reputation as super grandad had grown.

I should add that my reputation as super grandad wasn’t only earned through my knowledge of football. Oh no. It was formed by me sitting him on my knee when he was maybe 3 or 4 years old regaling him with stories of my own personal achievements .
Which achievements? Way too many to list but ones such as my beating Muhammad Ali to win the world title despite smokin’ Joe jumping into the ring to give him ‘hauners’ , and me winning the London marathon in my bare feet. Winning the grand national despite the trainer forgetting to put a saddle on the horse. That type of thing. You probably don’t remember reading about those triumphs but that’s down to me insisting on no publicity. I don’t like the limelight you see.

Why am I wasting yours and everybody else’s time with this drivel?

Well I have a dilemma. You see I got a text last night asking “ grandad what will the score be on Sunday?”

Hmmm. I’ve stalled for time. “ wait until I see the teamsheet son”

What shall I tell him?

You see, the truth is this. I think we will lose by 2 goals. I’m praying I’m wrong but I fear for this current Celtic side on Sunday. We have the forward players to hurt them, but there’s a lack of fight in the middle of the pitch, and a softness at the back.
Broonie and Calum? Full backs defensive frailties? Julienne?
I fear the forwards won’t have the platform needed.

Can Neil implement a tactical plan to get at them?

I doubt it.

To get to this point where I’ve gone from predicting a 5-1 humping to a 2 goal reversal? Wtf?? Of course I could be wrong and believe me I truly hope I am, but how in the name of **!!*!* can it get to this ?

Well we all know the answer to that. We know who is culpable.

Let’s hope that Sunday doesn’t throw that incompetent lot upstairs back into the spotlight, because if it does it’ll mean my worst fears have been realised.

As for my prediction to my grandson? I’m hoping he will believe my explanation that the referees and linesmen have had a secret meeting to make sure Celtic lose, as they’re all Rangers supporters.

Haud oan – why shouldn’t he believe that?? That’s fekkin true! . Yep I’ll go with that.

If the Bhoys surprise and delight me and don’t lose, I’ll tell him I confronted the match officials to tell them I’d got wind of the secret meeting and I’d batter them senseless if Celtic got cheated.

This Friday/Saturday my youngest grandchild is staying with me. He’s just turned one. I’m looking forward to telling him all about the time I broke the record for swimming the channel.


Oh you wouldn’t have read about it in any papers. My attempt was disqualified and wiped from the record. Some stupid rule about you not being allowed to wear a duffle coat and wellies whilst swimming.

Mon the hoops ????????????


Morning all.
Twists, good fun,but the serious point is valid.
I would never bet Sevco to beat us, but I did find myself looking at the odds and thinking 8/5 in places for them was big, which gets back to your point.
We’ve gone from predicting 5.1s to no longer being favourites with the bookies.
On that note, did you attend Mussleburgh yesterday?

Twists n turns

I didn’t. I was in Musselburgh in the morning playing golf. I was driving back to get my wife to go back through to the racing and there was a horrendous tailback on the bypass on the opposite carriageway.
We decided to give it a miss.
I’m going today though.

I had a nice wee bet up on the last 2 races. Small stakes. 2 x £3 wins and a £4 double. Paid £130 for my tenner so I was happy enough. Gives me some stake money for today.


Excellent stuff. It’s always good to have a winning pot to start with.
I don’t work on a Wed, so I will have a dabble after Costa.

Twists n turns

Bury got buried I see?

Not good for the fans. Lose their team. Their history. All gone.

Here ! Wait!

What if someone took them over and struck a deal with the FA that allowed them back from the dead?
Let them back into the league?

It’s a long shot I accept but you never know.

Maybe they could even concoct some sort of plan that let them keep their history?

Ok ok I know. It’s a ridiculous suggestion. Another super grandad yarn. Even I accept that one is just too far fetched.

big packy

MORNING ALL bobby just as long as he does not play callum as a full back, twisty unfortunately im worried about the game against thems as well ,lets buy bury, why not.hh.

Twists n turns


Aye – worrying about an opponent who should’ve been like Bury….. buried.

The galling part?

From a “ business perspective”, which is what Peter sees Celtic as first and foremost, a business , where the balance sheet is king, there was the opportunity to screw these fekkers to the floor and end all opportunity for them to be a competitor.

This wasn’t Pepsi trying to oust Coke as the number one. No siree. This is fekkin Rola Cola that are now breathing down our necks. We stood still… and waited on them. So Peter, look behind you.

big packy

TWISTY, it is so demoralising we had them where we wanted them on the floor, and we let them get back up, words fail me I f they win the league this year I might just join you, and play golf and do the horses on a Saturday.hh.

Twists n turns

Let’s hope despite Neil having undoubted limitations as a manager added to him having one arm tied behind his back, he can get the Bhoys in combat mode and come away with all three points. ?

Twists n turns

PF Ayr just sent me this. ??.” You spelt did wrong “ ???


Awe Naw

Can Bury and Bolton not demand a 5 way agreement ?

Can Peter Lawwell not offer Bury and Bolton his services and Sevco them back into existence ?

Can Celtic PLC not give away 70% of our TV deal to help Bury and Bolton survive ? I mean it is not as if there isn´t precedent

Awe Naw

Are the Glaziers buying Celtic shares ? CR SMITH will be delighted.


Blinkin’ flip. Bawjaws has moved to suspend Parliament.

So much for taking back control and restoring sovereignty.



I do believe that the Glaziers only managed to conclude the Man Utd deal when Dermot Desmond sniffed a fast buck.

Byres Road Bhoy

BMCUWP Re BoJo’s move to suspend parliament. Aye. I hope this is a wake-up call. It should be seen for what it is – a coup d’etat by an unelected minority. Hitler’s ‘beerhall putsch’ without the bevvy.



I wish I’d kept the info,but apparently Bawjaws is overly fond of the bevvy. It’ll be there somewhere,but I can’t recall who sent me it. Not usually so careless.

Of course,I too have a fondness for the grape and the grain. I’m sure that I’m not alone in that on here. But while my job may be a nothing in the great scheme of things,it requires at least one responsibility. To be sober enough to drive my vehicle when I start my shift.

I’m not entirely sure that Bawjaws is displaying that level of responsibility,and in an infinitely more important role. And I’m pretty sure too that he CGAF about it.


Five attempts to post that. Not good.

Fortunately,I c&p when I saw it was taking its time.

Afternoon mi amigos, hotter than ever today high 40s, too hot really.
Is there a problem with the site, keeps coming up with a 504 bad gateway and when it does open it takes for ever ?


Twists n Turns
Often wondered what happened to PFAyr on CQN?
He was a straightforward,realistic poster who disappeared.


We as a club have deep pockets but they are not for keeping balls in.
Our’s are for stashing shiny baubles and filthy lucre.
Resulting in a shortage of balls at Celtic park.

I agree, PFAyr was a good poster

Byres Road Bhoy

I have a straightforward question for ALL Celtic supporters: Given that it’s safe to assume that 10 Scottish Premier League sides are doing all they can to field the best possible team within their financial parameters and that another club is even prepared to greatly exceed those parameters, do you think that the current Celtic squad is the best it can possibly be within our financial parameters?


Maidin Mhaith sibh,
And a happy Woodens day.

Nothing like a ramble Bobby and last week we were wondering if Lenny would survive this week. Seems he will. A hun defeat would put a doom and gloom feeling about the camp though.

I’m going for a draw in Sweden and unfortunately like Twists a defeat at Mordor.

TeT,,if site is acting up I could ask them to optimize it,, worked before.

8 days till big long flight,,first with my own child. I’m gonna pass her around the cabin,, sure its Aer Lingus,,,great bunch,,all good Irish girls Hand her back when we land pls and see you in a few weeks.

Hail Hail

So we have signed a RB from Stoke on a years loan, can’t get a game for Stoke right enough but he is a RB


Moritz Bauer signed on year loan from Stoke City. Austrian right back. Slightly underwhelmed.

It goes to a 504 time out when I try to refresh the page, not every time but now and again.


I been getting the same 504 time out. Took a couple of attempts to post too.

It just did it again there, I would ask them to look at it Mahe.
Aye, underwhelmed, canny even get into the Stoke squad ffs

So, according to John James Dermot has sold his shares to the Glazers, interesting, but as he is normally 100% wrong


Musings on the Window.

Most of the following could be proved wrong in the next few days but let’s throw it out there.

Firstly, from NL’s remarks about new signings on the plane to Sweden, and previously about bringing in 3-4 players, then 2-3 players, he has little involvement in the business end of incoming transfers. Effectively, he is neutered as far as this activity is concerned. Even he must see the obvious holes in our defence and yet he stays in his box.

Other blogs are suggesting that our transfer dealings are finished for this window. Of course, this could be “clever” expectation management. How does sorry clubs are asking too much for the likes of Meling, Gumny , Baldock and Tommy Smith but we have secured the promising young FB Greg Taylor from Kilmarnock sound? Reaction: thank goodness we did manage to sign a left back! Perhaps, such devious games are afoot, my dear Watson. It is hard to believe that PL cannot negotiate a deal with an SPL club for a player who has said he wants to come. Something around the two million mark should get it done, even if he is brought in as an initial loan with an option to buy. Kilmarnock are a club in decline after the loss of the best manager in Scotland. The current management team are showing signs that they will need to be paid off soon. Surely, in that environment a deal can be struck for Taylor.

PL’s negotiating stance may or may not be a major stumbling block. It looks like it was for McGinn. However, there are other factors at play. The scouting department which consists of around five scouts plus a part timer, heading it up, is hardly suitable for a club of Celtic’s stature. Further, the emphasis of this unit is on the English game. Year after year, this has been shown to be a very difficult market. Time is spent at the beginning of each window trying to attract players from the English leagues only to miss out to moderate clubs like Stoke City and WBA. The sooner targeting shifts to Scandinavia and Eastern Europe the better. Players in those leagues are both affordable and more likely to come. Meling could have been recruited last year for a smaller fee than required now. Ditto for Taylor. One of these players could have spelled Tierney and, who knows, he may have stayed around longer. Does nobody within the club think like this? Instead targeting players is haphazard relying on Sean Maloney, Irish team coaches, and familiarity with players that Celtic has played against. Before leaving the defence, does anyone know who is the defensive coach?

I hope I am wrong but I feel this is Brown’s last full season for us. He may be carrying an injury at the moment but he seems to have lost a yard. Consequently, more of his tackles are verging on the late side. Penalties and cards will abound this season. His tackle to produce the Heart’s penalty is an example. It was easy for the ref to award a penalty. Was Turnbull to be the replacement? Was McGinn from last season to fulfill that role? Either way, nothing has happened. Are we gambling on a) Turnbull being fit in January, and b) being good enough to fill Brown’s shoes. But wait, is Turnbull not more of an attacking mid and more likely to replace McGregor? What happened to the pursuit of the Ecuadorian defensive mid? Fees of around 2 million were muted for him. Now Porto are after him. Just how many failures to sign targets are acceptable before change occurs?

As TnT points out there are question marks over the defence, the midfield defensively is soft, and the one bright spark is the attack. Can Forrest, Edouard, and Christie score more than the defence lets in against quality teams in Europe? You can see the answer to this as exciting and what the beautiful game is all about, or you can see it as an unfolding tragedy about to happen at a football ground near you! Perhaps, like last season, by chance an unlikely hero will emerge to save the day! Christie happened last season, who could it be this season?



Whilst I will give the guy a chance, before condemning him, it hardly is a signing that inspires confidence. Have never heard of him before today. The fact he cannot get in the Stoke squad, surely tells a story.

I think there is an option to buy, so hopefully he will perform.
We were linked with him before he joined Stoke, maybes he isny as bad as I am making out, but you are correct, it really doesn’t inspire confidence when he can’t get a game for a club at the bottom reaches of the championship.

Awe Naw


not what JJ said. He said they bought 28 million quids worth

Awe Naw
This is a copy from his site.
I have saved the best exclusive to the last. The word is out that Desmond has sold his shares to the Glazier brothers. This will break in the SMSM presently.

Twists n turns

Fan a tic / TET

PF is fine and well. I’m meeting him for …. err lunch ?- in Bothwell on Friday. Hamilton races at night.

He just got fed up with the CQN board love in I believe.

I’ll tell him you were asking after him. ?


The glaziers?


Tech support says we are optimized.
I see we aren’t optimistic;)

Please do, n tell him to get posting on here 😉
Mahe i hope it’s total pish, the Glazers would be a nightmare, prob worse than we have at the moment.

I had to log into the site again there, it is logging me out nearly every time I refresh the page


TeT,,I told you all two weeks ago the shares were getting hawked around.
Very bad news if true. That money clears 50 million of Man Utd debt now if true.
Hail Hail

So are we gonna be the manure feeder club, wouldn’t put it past them 😉


I watched the Rosenborg vs Zagreb game live. It finished 1-1 and resulted in Rosenborg dropping into the Europa and Zagreb moving on to the millions of the CL. Rosenborg scored early and had Zagreb by the throat. Zagreb’s one shot on goal went in and that was that. Both teams would be slaughtered in the CL. Celtic are at least on a par with both of these teams which, yet again, underscores the disappointment of Cluj.

Meling played well, mainly as an attacker. Defensively, he can be caught up the park, but he did put in some tackles and blocked a goal bound shot. He is a better FB than Boli but I am not sure it makes sense to have both of them in the player pool.

Petkovic of Zagreb would be the ideal foil for Edouard or Griffiths but I know there is no chance of us getting him. He bounced around lower level Italian teams like Catania before being picked up by Zagreb. He is the type of player our scouts should be unearthing.



Have since heard that Bauer was highly thought of initially at Stoke, but fell out of the picture due to disciplinary issues. Had not heard of majority of our signings in recent years. Let’s see how he does in the Hoops.

Twists n turns

Pit two bob in the meter ….

At Musselburgh…. can’t believe how warm its suddenly got. Heavy jersey and jacket wisnae my brightest idea….


Meling caught my eye when we played Rosenberg last year. Thought he was similar in style to Kieran Tierney. Good going forward and strong in the tackle. Meling and a defensive midfielder who can tackle are still needed, and I think we would be good to go till January.

Byres Road Bhoy

Bauer: bought by Rubin Kazan from Grasshoppers in 2016 for £3.60m sold to Stoke City Jan 2018 for £5.58m. Current value £2.25m. Source Transfermkt.
Mixed views on Stoke City fans forum. Consensus is he’s OK going forward but not so clever defensively…
Superseded by Tommy Smith whom we were supposedly in for.
Worth a trawl through for the laughs. This seems a fair reflection:-

“Another player for the pile marked ‘Not as good as we thought he was when we were full of hope when he first joined, but not as bad as many folks think he is now.’”

Read more: http://oatcakefanzine.proboards.com/thread/288690/bauer?page=4#


Some jolly japester on twitter posts we’ve signed the baddy from Die Hard.
Why not?
Fit’s with our scattergun approach to signing players.
Wonder if Jackie Chan’s available though probably outwith our price range.
We are more likely to sign a Ninja Mutant Turtle after the last movie flopped.

Twists n turns

Can you say fuck boris and fuck the queen on here?
Asking for a friend.
If you’re not allowed to say fuck the both of them, I’ll not say it.

Thanks in advance



We need an afternoon happy hour to draw the posters in.
I tried turning on Gifs last night but failed.
I believe we need a plug in. Not sure if regular comments will accept though.
If it’s the Glaziers we will see through them crystal clear,, they can slide on. They are a double pane in the arse 😉 I’ll get my coat.

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