When Things Don't Add Up.


We are now one third of the way through the transfer window and it is starting to look like it may have caught us by surprise,despite it happening at the same time each year. The past ten days have seen the lads complete their warm weather training break but with no additions to an already stretched squad. The only movement we have seen is the transfers of Lewis Morgan and Scott Sinclair,neither of whom were in the manager’s plans. That is his decision to make,even if I think he got one of them wrong. The decision to sell them is the only sign we have seen that Peter Lawwell hasn’t gone on holiday,apart from a waffling statement the other day about Ryan Christie’s ban.

With the huns breathing down our neck,I think it’s fair to say that strengthening in certain areas should be a priority-yet there has been little sign of activity on that front. Bringing in late additions will be just that-late! If we sign a player on the 31st of January,it is unlikely he will be ready for at least two weeks.

We have five league games to play before then,and four of them are away from home!

It gets worse,too. Our only reported target is Andraz Sporar. Apparently,we opened negotiations with his club,who were happy with how things went and asked us to table a formal bid. We never did. Now,we all know that football is a very small world,and that people within the game talk. If Lawwell gets a reputation as a timewaster,his chances of getting anyone to answer his calls are nil. That might suit him,of course-after all,he has his close relationship with Manchester City and with the Israeli agent,Dudu Duhan. But that leaves us with a very small pool of talent to choose from.

Much as Mahe and I enjoy writing these articles,I freely confess that Armando Ianucci did a much better job of adapting Charles Dicken’s classic,A Christmas Carol,than I did.

To be honest,there were some suggestions that I was overly harsh on Lawwell at the time,which I countered by pointing out that the last few paragraphs offered the hope of a happy ending. After all,it isn’t Bleak House! I pointed out that his legacy is in his own hands,and he will be judged by us on that. Events since would suggest that there is more chance of Vivian from The Young Ones changing his underwear than of Lawwell changing course. Having lost our best manager since Jock Stein,he appointed Neil Lennon as interim manager,but without allowing him to bring his own back-up team. No offence to Damian or John,but they do not seem capable of pointing out the tactical adjustments that are sometimes necessary during games. And I’m not sure Neil would listen either. But he would have listened to Johann Mjallby or Gary Parker,the men who were there for him in the past.

So why the lack of activity in signing fresh legs? Well,I’d say that the obvious reason is that Lawwell has done a cost/benefit analysis on various players and decided that the cost outweighs the benefits each time. Echoes,of course,of 2009 when we blew a good lead at New Year for pretty much the same reason. It also cost us our manager at the time,with a scunnert Gordon Strachan departing without a job to go to. Three times in a row the huns would win the league after this fiasco,despite the fact that had we turned the screw in 2009,their new bankers would have recalled the loans. And don’t forget how big their debts were even after three years of Champions League money. One wee push in 2009 would have been enough to force them over the edge.

Now,this raises another possibility-what with another current similarity to 2009. The huns need about £15m more in loans this year to keep the lights on. They have additional debts to Close Bros and impending judgement in the Sports Direct case. There is also the strong possibility that Hummel and Ideal Sports will sue them too once that judgement is made. They are only solvent on paper,and that only because loans of many millions have been converted into shares. There are now more Rangers shares in circulation than there are grains of sand on the beach! So how can they stay afloat with all this going on? What hope is there for them in the future,or to even have a future?

Well,the answer is the same as in 2009. Win the league and get the Champions League money. Otherwise,they are f….d. And they can only win the league if we continue to give them hope,as we have done over the last year or so. We can,just as in 2009,give them hope by refusing to spend to get the team over the line. Now,for that to happen would be one of two things. For Lawwell to be incompetent or for him to be party to a plan to keep Rangers in business-an appalling vista. I’ll leave it at that.


Above article by BMCUWP.

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Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

I thought the “bah humbug” image was an advert ! ???

Nearly went all angrybhoy there ?

Just joking. It’s just that when you’re used to the other channel, you expect them all over the shop. Sneaking up on you….jumping out of cupboards at you, crawling out from under your pillow to say hello at 4am, pouncing on you from the ceiling while you’re sitting in the toilet…..


News just in. Celtic FC have been involved in numerous rumours during the early stages of this transfer window. Many supporters located in CQN Ville agree that this is still the early stages and that we should keep our powder dry, and wait and see what happens.

This has been Uber Tim, reporting for Sentinel Celts, in Lanarkshire. Back to you in the studio, Mags McGill, where I believe you have news on the possible sale of one of our most important players, French Eddie, and the biggest value sale ever made by “the park head club”.
Before they rip the microphone away from me, I wouldn’t be surprised if the huns tried to sign him for £15M, and Big Pedro sanctioned it as long as there was a 30% sell on fee, and he could loan them the money.
Uber Tim, over to you Mags. How’s the weather there in Studio 67? How does the balance sheet look over there? ?

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns


What’s a Napster? ?
Are you saying us baldies have a blog of our own?? ??



NAPSTER is TWISTSNTURNS own Ponzi scheme. You know,where you bet an imaginary pound and lose. Only to find out that it was a real pound,the interest makes it a tenner already and the big lad wants his money.



As POGMATHONYAHUN pointed out last night-welcome aboard,big fella!-this is not the place for adverts. Never will be.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns


Cheers for the explos me auld pal ?

Twisty knew better than to try and chase for that pound, or its £18 quid interest.

I take it you told him who I really am? ??

Edit: I am Paul67 ? there, I’ve said it. let the cats chase the pigeons. Or not ?‍♂️??.

Could be true though, for all you know, you dismissive fucks!!! ??. ?



Oh,dear. You never learn,do you?

You are PAUL67 and I claim my five pounds.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Free the Left Wingers from CP.

Our gospel lord of CP has spoken.

I actually really like Boli ??

Why the f do I never agree with you fuckers on the football?? ?

That tells me that, as a businessman, you must all be wrong, and that you are being detrimental to the market research, and that I need to employ a long term PR strategy to change the minds of half of you.

I WILL be proved right.

I am Lord Peter Lawell. My demands WILL be met. Fergus, free the prisoners…..


Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns


Damn !! I claim that back for the Dodger train fare i actually paid when you weren’t looking ?

More than a fiver btw ?

In fact, you owe me a tenner ?‍♂️??

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

“Senator Lawell to be re-instated, 2023…”

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Apols Fholks, I’m talking pish as usual ?

First drink since….. Monday.

Back to the football.

I still stand by Lenny. I don’t get the lack of faith, and when it builds up, it is going to affect his own self belief ffs !!

Despite the board pish, I’d like to see some support for someone who keeps giving us brilliant results in Europe, and motivating lost teams.
Every team has dips, but for us, more so, as we have more injuries and more negative media pish to deal with.

All the criticism focuses on 2 or 3 games since nearly a year ago ffs?

For me, the “mistakes” we all talk about now in hindsight, were, to stick with the best system we had and best players. It didnt work. Ffs, he played the team we all wanted (in majority !!).

The arguments at the time were time of change
Fair enough. For me, like most I fear in our basic knowledge, you change at 60 mins. Its not as simple as that though when you have a million considerations.

We are FAR too hard on Neil Lennon, ffs. Man is a legend. Let him be. Let him evolve in his own time and make his own team. Ffs, has he not earned that right????

He made a BR Celtic team brilliant to watch, AND winning games.

He lost 3 !! Ffs?!?

Uber Tim, reporting from a chilly Airdrie Beach. Oh wait. That’s not a beach.
Back to you in the studio, Mags McGill. ?


Anorak time. Today sees the second longest journey possible for an away supporter in English league football. Carlisle v Plymouth. 390 miles each way.

The longest is when Plymouth play Newcastle,at 409 miles. After that,it is down to when Exeter play the two northern teams. So why would fans of Newcastle feel at home so far away in Exeter,and vice-versa?

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Right Fholks, I’m going to leave you with this, and try and avoid bothering you with my pish hereafter.

It’s about the Gladiator scene.

This is one of the best movies best as the Oscar’s rightly acknowledged.

Firstly, the music. Outstanding, and brought the outstanding Hans Zimmer into the frame with the impending doom of Jerry Goldsmith on the horizon. You might know him from such films as Basic Instinct (listen to it), Star Trek, the Omen, and Omen 2 (puts Karl Orff’s version of Carmine Burane to shame !), and many others. He was NOT John Williams.

Then, back to Gladiator, the casting.
They needed someone with “gravitas “. This isnt a word about class difference. It’s white the opposite.
There is no direct translation from the Latin. There isn’t a word in any other western language to match it.
The best description I can give, while there are better out there is this: someone who has composure, intelligence, calmness, insight, strength, and commands respect just by being there. Could be Sean Connery’s Bond (no), could be Robert Redfrod, could be Paul Newman. No. Truth is, the only time I’ve seen it on screen, is here, with Russel Crowe’s character. Which knocked me back. I remember saying to friends, “THAT’S gravitas !!!””.

This was a very well researched movie, and brilliantly filmed ?‍♂️

Then the other small things that most of us don’t see, unless pointed out. The use of colours in scenes. The use of audio and music. Other symbolism.

For me, the big thing was the eye pupils.
The only humane man amongst their barbarity which they were oblivious to, was the Gladiators. You see his eyes and their pupils clear as day at the end. Because always saw what they didn’t. A better future.

Notice the young emperor child standing up with blank blue eyes until the gladiator dies.

Then there’s this no small matter.

Joaoquim Phoenix.

Finally being recognised for the acting legend he is. …. the Joker.

Go back through his history and you’ll see a record that Jack Nicholson would be jealous of. This man can act like fuck.

Walk the Line is just one example. One of the best movies ever made.

I could go on….. but music is calling….

My love to any of you who got this far ???

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns


Newcastle to Exeter?

Domination ? As I think you know. Like an invasion. The sport is irrelevant.


Bobby, home is where the heart is. I love Manchester. Been there about 20 or 30 times. Love the people. I feel comfortable and safe with them. Very friendly. Mind you, I feel that about Edinburgh too!

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Re my previous post :




I remember meeting my true blue ultra hun pal in Exeter once. I’d driven him down to Penzance a couple months beforehand,the guy had dreams and delusions. Anyway,we met there and he wanted to see the hun game on TV. Of course,neither of us knew where we could watch it,apart from a pub.

First two weren’t too helpful,didn’t even have a telly. Third one did,but no Sky Sports. So I asked the barman where my hun pal could watch his team hopefully getting skelped and he gave us directions to a pub called…

The King Billy!

Natch,Jimmy ripped off his v-neck and showed off the five fag burns,I’ll be right at home there! Aw f..k,thinks I.

Turned out to be a gay bar. Football was on,but no-one was impressed by his hun top. Or his lairiness. I was fine,I was talking away to the locals plus a couple of pathfinders for a stag do from West London. I’d nip out for a smoke,and people would say-are you gonna tell him?


Turns out the pub was renamed when a local worthy died,and in his honour. He had fought hard for equality and despite not himself being gay,had persuaded the owners and the regulars to grow up. Fair play,I say.

So Jimmy,me and the two pathfinders went down to the next pub after the match. Four pints,doll. Jimmy is in form. His team have won,he’s with his best pal and two other fine fellas,and he now has a cute barmaid to impress. That’s manna from heaven to him.

I’ve just came up from Penzance,my best pal has come down from Swindon,these two lads have came from Staines in London. And I’ve just watched my team win in a pub named after my hero,King Billy.

What,she says. The gay bar?

Keep it with Kodak. You should have seen his face when one of the London fellas explained.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns


Manchester is brilliant. Beautiful folk.

I got lost there one night, gave up and looked for a pint. Essentially found somewhere, and the bouncer at top of stairs asked, big fecker, do you know where you’re going, I said, aye, for a pont with some normal. He grinned, and let me in. Spent the night chatting to the bar mM at a tiny bar who couldn’t tell me enough about how he lived Glasgow. The rest of the folk were having g a great night doing thai karaoke I think ?‍♂️??
Me and fella behind the bar had a great night, about the good things, then I got taxi back to hotel.

I love that ffs. One example of many.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns



Plenty of Blue Oyster Lagoons ?‍♂️


When you have them as friends, the laughter is vinegary ?‍♂️?

I’ve one I’d trust with my life. He phones me every few days to check up on me. ?‍♂️ are we bad to have hun friends? I recall a time when CQN was making us hate them…..

Oooftt….incoming from CQIran…to CQIraq…..

?? meh, feck em ?‍♂️


Uber, I remember one night a few of us stumbled into a night club in Whalley Range. It was a ‘black’ night club. We were the only whites! It was brilliant. Couldn’t have been treated better.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns


You on pills???
Arghhh I fecking hate them!

Got even a story from November if you want it, about how that city is completely fecked, and riddled with idiots !!!


Uber, I think we might meet in the next couple of weeks, I will tell you where I worked in Edinburgh. Cant say on here.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Jim @ 6.40am,

That’s the stuff.

We were in Brixton for the weekend…. played with reggae reggae sauce man and his pumas bands all weekend, exchanged CDs was brilliant.

Outside, was wee white neds, they had evil in their eyes……im talking about evil I’ve never seen back home except in that freak ned we all know needs locked up……



My company sent me on a round trip to Manchester from Sutton-think six o’ clock on the M25-every day for a fortnight. I told them they were pushing it but we had deadlines for installations in the upgrade at either Victoria or Piccadilly station. The final delivery one Friday,the gear wasn’t ready in time and I didn’t quite make it.

It was only the switchgear for the industrial lighting we did,so fitted in the back of an Astra van. Brand new,it was. So I went into the nearest pub,ordered a pint and phoned my boss at home to give him the bad news.

He just said that he didn’t think I would make it,not on a Friday. Book onto a hotel and keep the receipts. Take the gear round in the morning.


Went back to my brand new van and discovered that someone had put a screwdriver through the lock,and in trying to break the steering lock,had rippped the steering wheel off!

So,back into the pub. Phoned the police,then phoned my boss. All the gear is safe-about £50k worth!-but the vehicle isn’t. I’ll just sleep in it,to be on the safe side. Wi a tyre wrench.

So took the stuff over by taxi the following day,had the AA tow the van in for repair,got pished-it was a Saturday,after all-and caught the train back home. Never really been a fan of Manchester since.


Bobby, can understand that but you were unlucky.



Fortunately,we judge people by how we find them,rather than on our differences. Imagine how boring life would be if everyone you knew had the same background and opinions about everything that matters.

Even Dante wouldn’t have considered that as an option

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

I think we get this.
Some have evil in them ?‍♂️
We’ll never get a perfect 50/50 split
Do we want that anyway?
Can we?
We need to keep our way, which is long term evolution.
If you’re a believer in evolution, then get your skates on, as you have millennia to catch up on.
If you don’t believe in evolution, then fair enough, but buy me a pint, and shoot your children.



Oh,I certainly was!



Oh,that last line was a classic. Unfortunately I don’t live in the good ole US of A,so I will never have the chance to use it.


Uber, maybe at some point in the future we will all be brown! And speak Latin 🙂 Having said that, we’d still think of something to argue about!


As I see it now, we werent out-strategised in the last game: Our error rate was off-the-charts! Also we may have a ‘bottle’ issue. Too many players making bad ball decisions and not showing up. Jamesy, Ryan, Boli, Ajer, Cal. We also over-elaborate as if everybody thinks they’re wee jinky. Tippy tappy, dribbley-wibbly pish. Mibby our game review team saw it the same as me; its not skill or strategy – its fugghen application attitude and just playing the simple, direct ball (say he sitting on the sofa).
Mibby Pedro’s waiting for them to go bust so he can canter the league with our current squad.
if so, expect huge desertions.


BTW I just watched the whole game again, more calmly than I watched it first time round.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

BMCUW @ 7.01

I think it’s one of the most reprehensible things I’ve ever said online ..
I hate this pish ?

We’re gone as a society.

This is why I love the beauty of Jim the Tim, whio could wipe the arse with anyone on football and politics, and sweet BP, just a friendly soul missing his home.

I’m going to have to back to bed soon ??

Love these lads. Even Awe Naw….. [spits]



Evil in their eyes? Yep,seen that a few times over the years. A lot in London,increasingly here.

Also in Kilwinning wi two choobs last September,quickly defused when I suggested a quick call to pick a name,they’re on my directory.

This might interest you.


Times change,mate and people can’t keep up.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Feck it.
Truth of today, when educated…


Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

That was before she sold out ???

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Point being, does anything have integrity now?

This is why I I love Mags.

Without integrity, it’s a nothing. ?‍♂️

big packy

MORNING ALL and jim? uber nice too see you posting hope you are well ,bobby once got a job, picked up 10 pallets of terrys chocolates from a warehouse in hull, and took them down to penzance wow I was fecked?


Morning Packy. It’s dawn.



Welcome and enjoy.
Good taste in music.?


St James Park.
Catch up later.
Costa time.

Number 1 in the UK iTunes chart and number 3 in the UK Amazon chart.

Get yourselves over to Amazon and make it Number 1 ? You know it makes sense ?



Just noticed that there are two versions of COYB&T’s on Amazon music. One at No 3 and one at No 6 which jointly would probably make it No 1 ??

Welcome and enjoy.
Good taste in music.?
Still trying to get my head round the posting format. I should have been on here yonks ago.


How on God’s green earth does anyone ‘Unintentionally’ shoot down a plane ?


How on God’s green earth does anyone ‘Unintentionally’ shoot down a plane ?
I dunno’ “¯\_(ツ)_/¯”??
Perhaps they should ask the Americans and Russians as they both have previous on the very same thing. How do you mistake a huge passenger airline for a military fighter/bomber? I dunno’ “¯\_(ツ)_/¯”??


From Celtic F1rst on Twitter.
Ed Woodward is STILL the highest-paid club director in the Premier League…despite being paid £1m less than 12 months ago and club finishing sixth in the top flight.
But still didn’t earn as much as Peter Lawwell last year.

Man Utd’s revenue: £627m
Woodward: £3.16m
0.5% of revenue

Celtic’s revenue: £83.4m
Lawwell: £3.55m
4.25% of revenue

Something’s not right here.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

I still have a tape recording of the announcement on radio somewhere of the Yanks shooting down the Iranian passenger jet with 280 souls, including about 60 to 70 children. As news stories go, it seemed to disappear pretty quickly the next day……

But apparently all the heroes involved were given great “honors ” by their establishment leadership.

A tad disgusting, but not a patch on what they would continue to do. And now, here we are, at their final stage, Iran, which they have been very open about in their Neo Con books for several decades. More, if you look back to Albert Pike ?‍♂️

If it wasn’t for China and Russia demonstrating unity in defence of Iran, the fuckers would have gone in already, and dragged Scottish children with no hope of a job into it. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

Discuss. No more than 200 words. Especially you, SFTB. Points will be deducted for poor grammar or spellings and whatever’s.

Uber Tim on Blog Mark 7 Star Date Liquidated Huns

Ffs, last time I saw Ed Woodward, he was chasing some ned on the New York subway. And that was after crashing his jaguar. And that was after being burned alive as a pagan s!sacrifice to the sun god on the Summer Isle by Christopher Lee, and if i recall correctly, making rather a fuss about it, screaming and what not.

Where on earth would he fit into the current squad 1st eleven?? Or is he another project that has re-sale value?? I think the latter, and think, yes, indeed, he will be worth a few bob whether he can play fitbaw or not.
So get him signed Pedro . The Spreadsheet doth demand it.

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