International Day of Happiness


And welcome to International Day of Happiness. Supremely ironic of course,given the circumstances,but the idea behind it is sound. Surely there can be few things brighten up our lives more than the knowledge that spring is round the corner and another winter has been endured,consigned like the others to history. It might have been an idea to caveat it as IDoH ( Northern Hemisphere) but that is surely only me being pedantic-for a change.

March 20 has been the chosen date since its inauguration,and it holds a double significance this year as it falls on a Saturday. There is no day of the week more likely to put a smile on my face than a Saturday. Finish work early doors,grab a few hours kip,shower etc,gear on and out. Bookies for the fixed odds and a look at the horses. Get the phone out to study the form as I fill out my bets while having my first couple of pints and a discussion about events with my mates. Put the bets on,more beer,more mates and usually watching a game on TV. More beer,watch the racing,more discussion about life and all it throws at us as we watch the results coming in. Find a suitable receptacle for my betting slips while finishing off the evening with more beer and the live game. Nip into the supermarket on the way home for some essentials and maybe a carry out. And a carry home by bus.

And it’s spring tomorrow anaw? How come no-one told me about International Day of Happiness before? Was it because every Saturday was International Day of Happiness for me? Yep,I think that’s it.

Picked a f…..g blinding March 20 to find out about it,eh? Not a lot to be happy about at the moment. Racing and football cancelled,so no bets and no TV viewing. Pubs are shut anyway. Blinkin’ flip! And I wouldn’t have liked to have been around ATHINGOFBEAUTY when she found out that the gyms are closed too! Pointless going into the supermarket either as Mother Hubbard has got more grub than most of them,and there’s more chance of getting your hands on some booze at an AA meeting. You can write off Saturdays for a while,folks. And Happiness will be in short supply for a while yet too.

Here’s another irony for you. Some of us are going to have to drastically reduce our intake of alcohol for a time at least,while our main source of the stuff is forcibly closed and its stock slowly rots. I wonder if my local publican will sell me a barrel?

Still,the Happiness in the current situation can be found in the simple act of being alive,and that the same goes for those who matter to us. I hope that remains so until this crisis passes. I wish you all well,and extend that to those who matter to you too.

In every crisis it is only human nature for some people to seize an opportunity. We normally call these people leeche. Or parasites,spivs,profiteers. You know the type of person I mean,and you are free to use the pejorative term of your choice. In Scotland,they tend to be known as huns.

Irony keeps rearing its ugly head in this article,and there are a few more instances to come. The season is stalled,and that may become a full stop unless circumstances change dramatically. With no money coming into clubs,there are some out there who are already making difficult-or opportunistic?-choices. Ann Budge at Hearts has already decided that all playing staff wages will be amended. The choice is 50% or sod all and a free transfer. Mine would be a letter from my lawyer enclosing a copy of my contract and an offer to adhere to the terms as agreed. Especially if I had been so rank rotten all season that my team were firmly rooted to the bottom of the table,and my own form was so bad that there was no chance of catching the eye of another employer prepared to pay what Hearts paid me.

But the wee “star from the east” didn’t stop there. Slashing the wage bill won’t stop her club going bust if they get relegated. And she knows it. The mystery benefactor may not have a spare £2.5m available to her this year to balance the books. Not with the way the markets are plunging. So her plan is to cancel the season entirely,to declare it null and void. Incomplete means wipe the slate clean and start again next season as if the current season hadn’t taken place at all.

Everyone’s a winner because no-one is a loser!

There’s a superb piece of logic in there,isn’t there? Cough up the cash for 79% of the season then find out you’d have been as well going to B&Q every Saturday with the missus instead of having to listen to her through a hazy hangover as she nags you about it every Sunday. Her plan is to keep the money already paid and tell you that you obviously dreamt about paying it-because those games aren’t on the record books! Where could she have got such a stupid idea from?

Irony again-it came from the fatso PR guy at Ibrox. You know,the one that they’re getting shot of? His last piece of PR guff-not that he knew that when he dreamt it up,of course!-is probably his best. It is so brilliant that it was picked up by a famous celebrity and baroness as the blueprint for the similar problem facing English football. As she just happens to run a relegation-threatened football club with ties to the seedy sex industry,she is probably considering a suitable reward for the genius who dreamt it up. That Jim is thinking along the same lines might explain,in part,the run on toilet roll sales in Scotland.

Oh,that and the fact that his PR role at the Victorian lavvy-sorry,couldn’t resist it!-is being taken by a prominent DUP councillor. Usually you would back the experienced purveyor of pure poison to prevail,but not this time. And not only because the bookies are shut. Shocking decision to have to make,Jim. Go quietly to a life of parsimonious ignominy,universally despised by former colleagues and employers who are no longer scared to tell the world all about you,or go down fighting as you try to trash the reputation of the new guy who may or may not have links to certain bullyboy thugs with a fondness for proper violence,not the stuff in Cumbernauld you made up a few weeks back.

The only reason I’m not pishing myself laughing here is the seriousness of the matter. There has been a concerted campaign,driven by this twat and his remaining compliant victims in the media. They have gone looking for halfwits of a blue hue and given them a platform to support this idea. UEFA haven’t helped one bit,as they have cluelessly kicked the can down the road instead of looking at the runes and the evidence in front of their own eyes which shows quite clearly that there is no hope of football being completed in the allotted time. Indeed,there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the qualifiers for the Champions League and Europa League are going to be the next victim of the shutdown.

And that’s the ones planned for NEXT season!

I’ll tell you what might just make this International Day of Happiness for me. Or any day soon that it happens. And that’s for UEFA to say that between now and Easter,three weeks away,they will look closely at the medical and scientific evidence on the matter. That they will consult with representatives of each individual government on the current and projected situation in each country. And that they will make a definitive decision THEN for both the current season and the next one.

This will allow clubs,players,agents,everyone in the game to get on with their lives instead of living in the current suspended animation. To allow their players an extended close season with suitable training programme,instead of trying to stay match fit for a match we will probably not see for six months. And that titles and relegation will be decided on the basis of average points per match played to date.

Because the season is finished. Not null and void,with all the legal uncertainties which could-and will-ensue. Finished. Just like Jabba.

And hopefully-there’s a final irony here-the final points tally for the huns before they die again will be the number that killed them the first time.


Reasons to be cheerful indeed,amongst the misery. Stay safe,stay well.

Above all,stay sane. We have a long road in front of us.


Above article by BMCUWP. Difficult times for us all,so why not cheer us up with a wee anecdote from your life as a Tim? A great day out,a memorable win,a peach of a goal? You get the drift,write it and we will publish it. Mail it to Mahe

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NAPSTERS,please follow the link. Only meeting available is at Thurles


Today is Saturday, 21 March 2020.
Am I missing something?
Yesterday was Friday 20th
I know I call Cumbernauld, the land that time forgot, but is it in a different dateline right enough?



Aw,fuck. I only found out it was IDoH at 1am on BBC World Service. I googled it when I got home to find a link to supply to it. I didn’t bother to check today’s date as I assumed the two pieces of information matched up!!!

Twists n Turns

Reading back. I’ve mailed Awe Naw. Didn’t have an addy for you.


That’s brilliant Mick.
I would leave article up.
In these difficult times, it makes it even better.
We can all do with a wee laugh.

Big Audio Dynamite

TET, c’mon mate, I’m sure there were just crossed wires there, like has happened a few times over the last couple of days …people are on edge! That’s not to say I don’t understand your frustration – You know I do – it’s hard posting your thoughts and views, while you are expecting them to get shot down or ridiculed… so sometimes you react out of character.

Now isn’t time for flouncing guys, now is time to be surrounded by friends and like-minded people.

HH to all ?



A fine article mhate, though not cheered me up any.hh take care :O)



Today is officially International Day of Ripping the Pish Outa Mick.

I could blame the BBC,but since I had a van full of about 8000 freshly printed newspapers,I have no excuse. The date was on every single one of them!



Could be the nearest thing to ALMORE’s long-cherished cafe if the food units remain open.



Correct,mate. A time for solidarity,looking out for those around you.

I drop off a paper every morning to three elderly neighbours,and one of them was up and about at 5am this morning. Most unusual,and she came to the door after I’d put the paper through the letterbox. How you doing,difficult times,that kind of thing. Really pleasant lady,to be honest.

So I asked her if she was up early for a trip to the supermarket,cos I would take her over if she wanted. No,she said. I think I’ve got enough for a while,I don’t see the point in stockpiling stuff if you don’t need it. Besides,at our age we don’t need much,do we?

Hateful old bitch has had her last free paper from me,I can tell you.


I watched a dodgy race yesterday.
McBookie hinted at it on Twitter, by saying strange betting patterns and then put a video up of the race. 2.30 Dudalk.
Yuften originally 1/2,
Tony the Gent 4/1.
Tony the Gent gambled in to 10/11, Yuften drifts to 6/4.
Tony the Gent always handy and wins, Yuften held up and comes through beaten horses to finish second, never really put in the race, with a chance of winning.
Here’s the rub, both horses trained by same trainer.
Denis Hogen.
I’m didn’t have a bet yesterday, so not talking through my pocket.
If you get chance to watch it, have a look I would be interested in your thoughts or anyone elses, for that matter.





So I asked her if she was up early for a trip to the supermarket,cos I would take her over if she wanted. No,she said. I think I’ve got enough for a while,I don’t see the point in stockpiling stuff if you don’t need it. Besides,at our age we don’t need much,do we?

Hateful old bitch has had her last free paper from me,I can tell you.
Did you no moisturise this morning Mick? :O)


More sad news.
Country music legend Kenny Rogers has died aged 81



Can’t find the replay unless I pay for it,but here’s the comment from the Racing Post results page.

Slowly away and pushed along in rear early, 9th halfway, pushed along and not much room briefly 2f out, soon switched and headway to chase leaders, ridden into 3rd inside final furlong and kept on well into 2nd near finish, not trouble winner, lame (vet said gelding was lame post-race; stewards enquired into running and riding of gelding, jockey said he was instructed to sit in third or fourth and track his stablemate, jockey said gelding missed the kick and moved poorly before bustling him along, got stuck behind horses and did not have enough pace. trainer said he wasn’t happy with the ride but after speaking to the jockey said he felt the gelding couldn’t have finished any closer. having heard evidence, including betting patterns, the steward’s did not complete their enquiry and referred it to the IHRB.) (op 8/11)

Gordon64 Ruby (don’t take your love to town)



Guess I’m not at my best in the morning…

Twists n Turns


I’ll do that a bit later definitely.

Over the years I’ve learned enough to know its not always above board.

I was invited to the home of a trainer years ago. We were chatting about courses. I said to him I loved the Scottish tracks. Hamilton being a favourite.He said to me he had a runner there one night. He’d booked a particular jockey. He said in the parade ring pre race, he was giving this jockey instructions. 5 runner race. He told him he thought the horse was good enough to win, and to stay handy and pick them up inside the final furlong.

He said the jockey replied by telling him “ sorry – you won’t be winning tonight – horse X is winning this race tonight”

He said it was carved up between the jockeys pre race. Admittedly I’m talking 20 years ago, but, nevertheless!

I also had a horse with one trainer who turned out to be an absolute fkn rogue. I’ll save the story until we chat over a beer or a coffee sometime.

I can’t complain though. I got involved in a “ plot” myself with some Irish fellas, but unfortunately, on the big day, the day we were gonna hit the big time with an across the cards treble, we got rumbled. Someone had let the cat out the bag and the weight of money drew the attention of the BHÁ. So as I say, I can’t moan about other cheats. Been there, done it, but didn’t quite get the T shirt.

A thing of beauty

International day of the eejit. Otherwise a brilliant article bmcuwp. It’s not going to be long before football clubs are asking the government to pay the wages of their players. Shame it wasn’t in the EBT years. I’d love to see Goram’s ugly mug when he got £80 a week or de boers eyes going skelly (see what I did there) when he saw a pay packet with petrol money in it ??
On a serious note, the government should not be bailing out any football clubs who think it’s ok to pay players more than £5k a week.
Right off out for the first cycle of the season. Not going to be pleasant with no scone to drive me on.

big packy

BOBBY, well thought out article, fantastic stuff, by the way its the 21st,thought you had no beer left??

Twists n Turns


There was a chap used to post on CQN years ago . Mackiebhoy I think he was posting under, though the “ bhoyfromthevillage” also rings a bell. Can’t quite remember. Maybe he switched names. Was from Fauldhouse I think.

Anyhow. Gem of a fella. Not sure where he is these days. Just disappeared of the radar. That man got some great inside info. I made a right few ££ from some of his stuff. Hope he is alive n well somewhere and making money.


Respect this morning and every morning to all our fantastic NHS staff and essential workers doing their best to keep us alive and functioning as a society during these dreadful times. ✊



Get yerself a wee rod thingy and attach it to your helmet. Then dangle a scone from it. Job done,personal best guaranteed.

No need to thank me,I think Viz Top Tips beat me to that.



Indeed,mate. And also to other unsung heroes who are still attending to daily visits and putting themselves in potential danger.


Bmcuwp And a massive thanks to your good self and Mahe for creating this forum without which many our lifes would be diminished. Respect amigo ?



Sounds like there was a fair old “lift” involved there. I wouldn’t have liked to be the snitch,that’s for sure.

I remember the guy you’re talking about,I think. Either him or not,someone was on the site about ten years ago and had a blinding run of form. No crap about where the info came from,just the winner so get on it.

Problem is it was before mobile broadband-for me,anyway-and I didn’t have an online account. So if I was near a bookie,I wouldn’t know about the tip. And if I knew about the tip,I was nowhere near a bookie.

Not always the case though,so I struck a few times.



Thank you,old bean. Much appreciated. But honestly,the respect is yours-and also everyone else’s. It’s only as good as the people who post their comments,and you guys and gals have stepped up for us.

This time next year,we could be millionaires. Except we agreed from the start to no adverts or other outside interference. A verbal agreement,but etched in blood and in the integrity of our own reputation(!!!)

So that’s a naw then. No adverts. And all the better for it.

Twists n Turns

Yeah there was particular trainer he had a horse with, and the info mainly stemmed from there. Was good stuff.

Btw – I’ve deliberately stopped complimenting your articles. Every one is quality. I’d be repeating myself every day. So I’m only going to comment when you write one I don’t like. I suspect I’ll be waiting a while.


It’s interesting but not surprising that in these critical times our most essential workers tend to be the lowest paid in our society and not the overpaid financiers. I hope this will be remembered when it’s all over, although I have my doubts. Hh

Gordon64 Five reasons to find hope amid Coronavirus chaos ?


Thanks,TWISTS. Much appreciated. Though I may have inadvertently let myself down a tad with the now obvious erroneous basis of the article!

ATHINGOFBEAUTY had it right. And I f….g hate when that happens! Eejit sums it up.


Just back from my Saturday morning exercise on the road to Blantur and massive respect to all the bus drivers, lorry and van drivers and especially TAXI drivers out there keeping the arteries of the nation moving. ?????


BMCUW and Twists.
Thanks for really interesting responses.
Good stuff.
Good point about the EBTs that would have been funny.

Twists n Turns

If you’re lurking.

I’m guessing you’re feeling a bit low today following your recent bad news. Especially so as you’ll still be a bit raw following Danny’s passing very recently.

Difficult to find the correct words . I’m fairly certain nothing anyone says help very much.

If the blog forgives me, I’ll relate a non football experience.

My mum is adored by all the family. Honestly, everyone who knows her would tell you that. As you pass through life you don’t meet many real “ ladies” or “ gentlemen “ but take my word for it my mum fits the former.

Polite, non confrontational, never swears, always trying to help despite being housebound. Lives on only to help others.

Some background. My mum lost my dad at 45. Prior to this, she lost 2 children very young. Then my eldest brother faced a life threatening operation for a brain haemorrhage when he was 19. He survived thankfully.

The loss of her 3rd child , my younger brother, at 38, devastated her. The pain lives with her not just daily, but every minute of every day.

Throughout it all, she’s never lost her faith. How, I’ll never know because life has treated her very unkindly. She’s also lost all of her brothers and sisters.

One night a few years ago I dropped in and we sat and chatted for a while. For the first time she confided in me something that knocked me for six.

She admitted she planned suicide, as she had enough pain and couldn’t handle it any more. Obviously she didn’t carry it through. I’m not one for showing my emotion in public but that night when I left, I must’ve sat in my car on a country lane in the darkness for about 3-4 hours just crying. I was angry, annoyed, sad, and felt so low I can’t tell you.

I asked my mother what made her stop the suicide attempt. She told me she couldn’t bear the thought of my 2 brothers and I having to live on always wondering what we could have done to help her.

Throughout her darkest hour her thoughts were still concern for others as opposed to ending her own suffering.

What could we do to help her? Well, just talking and sitting with her. She said she understood we had our own lives, and couldn’t always be there, but she missed us all. Her life was lonely.

Why am I saying all this? Well I was thinking of you when I woke up this morning. On your own with your thoughts and no doubt pretty down at your latest loss. Now I’m not suggesting for a minute you would consider anything along the lines of my mum. Not at all. My point is these things accumulated and wore her down to an extent she felt like giving up. Fortunately she didn’t and now spends her time making cards, baking, knitting etc . I told her that without her, so many people’s life’s would be poorer for the loss.

I don’t think she appreciated the level of love and respect people have for her. How much of an inspirational human being she is. That applies to you Jim. I know from speaking to anyone who knows you, Bobby for example, and I hope he will forgive me for using him as an example, just how much you are respected. You enhance people’s lives with your presence, friendship, everything right down to your music posts on here.

So, if you’re at a low ebb today Jim, I can well understand it, but get posting on here and cheering us up with your contributions will be helping us all I can assure you.

Reading this back before hitting send I’m not sure I’ve explained very well the motivation for posting this, but it’s from the heart Jim and with the best intentions.

Hail hail.



Check the BC link 1974 match @ 4mins 50 when if im not mistaken the Scotland fans are singing YNWA and @ 7 mins 20 when Jinky gives a two fingered salute to the Scottish media. ?


Absolutely superb! You describe your mum beautifully and I’ve a tear in my eye reading it as it reminds me so much of my own mum, and hers too. And there’s a whole generation of them out there who have been vital in bringing us up to be, hopefully what they wanted us to be!
JtT, I hope you’re okay today mate. It’ll be good to see you back on.

Big Audio Dynamite

Twists, not sure any of my family really got over losing our big sister, but for mum it was utterly devastating …she has never been the same. Really hard to watch someone you love suffer, and there’s little you can do. I admire the fact you posted it pal, and I’m sure Jim will appreciate the sentiment.

Jim, thinking of you mate. You know you are surrounded by friends here ?

Twists n Turns

McCaff / BAD

Much appreciated and ty both very much. I considered going back and deleting that post as I wasn’t sure it was saying what I wanted to say but you’ve given me hope that it makes some sense.


Twists. 11.51.
I’m glad you didn’t delete.
A very welcome and powerful post.


Afternoon all, bobby good leader despite the dates mix up, could happen to anyone, I’m sure a blind man running to catch a bus will not notice it ?

Twists, like McCaff i was pretty emotional reading your post, Jim really has a friend in you, and I’m sure he will be forever grateful for your thoughts. If nothing else it made me get in touch with my own mom, thank you for being so sincere, it probably wasn’t easy for you to write that. Top man ?


Twists A beautiful post from the heart and a Happy Mothers day tomorrow to all those amazing women who made us what we are today. ?

Twists n Turns




I hadn’t read Twists’ post thinking it was Mother’s Day but that adds resonance to the message. My own mum passed away a long time ago, Oct ’97, at 58 years old, my old man went in 2000 with a broken heart. I still miss them both dearly. I’ve a wonderful family, great kids and a missus I wouldn’t swap for the world. Enjoy this weekend guys and cherish what you have.
Still no sign of Jim?


Thanks for your kind thoughts folks, much appreciated.
I’m a bit shell shocked. I stopped going out after Danny’s funeral. Apart from my sister’s golden wedding. It could be a bit lonely at times but at least I have the blog for a blether, I’m not much into phone calls. When I read there was going to be a big announcement at 6pm I guessed it was the closure of pubs etc. So I headed out to see John and the regulars in case I wouldn’t get a chance for months.

There was about a dozen in and I was talking to a couple who just mentioned in the passing ‘shame about John’. I said what? ‘he died last week-end, found behind the door.’ I went back home around 6pm. I had heard in the pub that my uncle Peter was self isolating, he’s in his eighties. So I phoned him to see how he was. He is fine but then he tells me my uncle Harry has died, down in England.

With one thing and another it’s like being in limbo.



Thank you from the bottom of my heart. A very moving post. I hope you know the love and admiration I have for you and your mum. I will never forget the kindness you both showed to me at Christmas.

big packy

just logged on for a minute, very busy today, this is for my best friend,JIM,.luv him to bits, catch u all later.hh


Morning troops,

Some great reading to wake up to. Cheers to all involved.
God Bless all on this planet. They need it now more than ever.

Anyway, Bobby the Booby 😉 Thats a cracker you plonker !
Great read apart from that though.
Ill give you some thoughts on parts on it, as youre bored.

“ The choice is 50% or sod all and a free transfer. Mine would be a letter from my lawyer enclosing a copy of my contract and an offer to adhere to the terms as agreed.”
I really disagree and will explain why later on.

“ Because the season is finished.”
Im more convinced than ever we should pause the season and cancel next season, but resume this one in its place.
To make up for the lack of regular games, we would have an extra large preseason, and regular friendlies with the aim of boosting morale and both clubs funds during a rebuilding phase.
There could also be a one time cup introduced.
This seems the best and obvious way to go for me.

As for the above, players suing clubs, here is the rough statement I would like to see from FIFA,,,
“ These are extraordinary times for the planet, but before this they were extraordinary times for football. Never had the globe been so fixated on one sport that was beamed to the masses creating a phenomenon that spawned obscene amounts of money whilst giving the masses a piece of tribal identity.
The sport must now use that popularity as a force for good in these challenging times and all within the game are instructed to put self interests aside for the common good.
With that in mind we issue the following instructions to all under our umbrella.
Firstly, the safety of the fans is paramount so all games are suspended until it is safe to gather in such numbers again.
Secondly, we shall creating an emergency fund with the aim of keeping as many clubs in existence as possible however paying wages indefinitely until this crisis is over is not an option.
National associations shall be given an amount equal to their national rankings percentage wise.
The fund shall be 75 percent of our existing bank balance and the remaining 25 percent shall be used to kickstart the game when resumption begins.
Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, we remind all clubs that they are INVITED MEMBERS of our competitions and all players of any clubs that ultimately we must accept their registration to play in our competition and are not legally obliged to do so.
With this in mind we issue the following ultimatum to all within the sport.
The sport will be tested like never before, but yet will be needed like never before by the globe to help restore a sense of normality to millions attempting to rebuild lives.
This is a time for unity of purpose full stop,
Anyone who initiates a lawsuit against any party at all within the game at these times shall consider themselves pariah and we will not be accepting their registration to enter our competitions, as is our legal right to do so. All other institutions not involved are hereby ordered not to employ anyone who partakes in any internal lawsuits at this time.
We have taken the best legal advice available and would like to thank Mike in Toronto for that wee dram also.
Nano Nano “

One other thing that struck me was,, theres a lot of companies missing a trick here.
Take a high profile big earner,,for instance of the top of my head Paddy Power.
Now what if they realised listen we have rode the gravy train big time and now the train has crashed,,lets buy a new train ourselves so we can ride it again !
In other words they cancel their profit for this year, maybe next, and use it as a fund to really try and help folk,,really try.
That way if,when all is said and done they would be held in great esteem and their business would flourish due to the fact they actually were ethical and there in times of crisis.
I see the opposite being done on Twitter where people are going into shops and naming and shaming them for having twenty quid hand sanitiser. I would like the community not to forget who tries to profiteer out of their fellow man in times like this,,and afterwards walk past and remind them.

Anyways Hail Hail and we aim to have a quiz next Saturday night.


That’s the chores done when does the SC virtual pub open ? ??

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