Constable Hunskelper!

When he joined Celtic on 1 January 2012, you could have been forgiven for thinking we had signed a pale imitation of Johnny Depp, with his flicked up rear locks and facial hair resembling a jolly pirate, he looked totally unconvincing as a player, especially one soon to be plying his trade among the thugs of Scottish football.

 He did of course come with some international pedigree, and had been signed on a pre-contract four months earlier by Celtic, from Rosenborg, after spending four seasons with them, there was also some English and Spanish interest in taking this swashbuckling lookalike to other parts of the world, but he chose a move to Celtic, as in his words, he knew they were a big club with a massive support.

Mikael Lustig, had in his four years at Rosenborg made 136 appearances scoring 21 goals, incidentally the same number of goals he would achieve in his seven and a half years with Celtic, he was however bought for his defensive abilities and not as a goal scoring threat, he did however chip in with a few nice ones, on the odd occasion.

It’s true that in his initial Celtic appearances as a right back. Much like Henrik Larsson’s career started at Celtic, Lustig was blamed for giving away a goal against Aberdeen in his first game. In his early time with us, Mikael never seemed to look like he was ever going to be good enough for most of the parkhead faithful, he even had a poor European championship with Sweden that year. 

Things however soon started to turn around for him, and with some injuries to key players (Adam Mathews and Izzaguirre) Neil Lennon stuck with him, and he improved. Lustig then had a good solid campaign in the 2012/13 Champions league winning MOTM in several games, and he also started to increase his popularity with the parkhead faithful, as he always seemed to give his best for the club, no showboating just good solid performances.

Lustig scored his first, as well as Celtics first goal in a home game in September 2012 (a two all draw against Hibernian), there was some debate at the time, whether he should have been awarded both the first and second goals, but the second was eventually named an own goal. Mikael actually started his career as a striker. Lustig continued to impress season after season, throughout the relentless march to 8IAR with some solid performances and also showed some classic moments. In January 2015 against Motherwell after 3 months of inaction, in his first game for Celtic since November he stole the show, in a 4-0 win and scored a brace and should have had a hat trick. Celtic hit the underside of the bar three times, the other goals were scored by VVD and Griff.

Lustig’s rabona in a 25 passing move, involving everyone in the full Celtic eleven, in 2017 led to a goal for Moussa Dembele, who then sealed his hat-trick in a 5–2 away win over St.Johnstone, is always worth another watch. Calmac’s back heel to Moussa isnae too terrible either. The passing and ultimate goal was selected for the Puskas award that season.

Probably PC Lustigs two most iconic moments in the hoops, was nicking a policeman’s hat in celebration, of James Forrest’s goal during the 5-0 win over Sevco at Celtic park. 

The other came against Sevco in 29th Apr 2017 the 5-1 home hammering inflicted upon them, he scored the fifth goal, with a solo run any striker would be proud of, and displayed one of the best celebrations I’ve ever seen, at their home ground. He was booked for his celebration and seemed to not give a jot about the booking, as he loved beating the huns. The guy just got it, and was definitely a Tim at heart.

Unfortunately for Mikael as happens, time had caught up with him by 2019 and teams would target the fact his play was becoming slower, and he had lost his sharpness, he was now 33 years of age, but PC Lustig is one of only three players who were there every step of the way as Celtic marched towards the 8IAR, Scott Brown, James Forrest and Mikael, he was one of the bhoys, and he needs to come back for the 10IAR party as he was a massive part of it, and should be welcomed back by one and all. You could always see, both on and off the park the happiness he had just by being part of Celtic. The guy just got what we were all about. And although hailing from Sweden he was just like one of our own.

Mikael played 254 games for Celtic, and won 8 league titles, 4 Scottish Cup medals and 4 Scottish league cup medals, he was part of The Invincibles, and the Treble Treble, noa a bad haul of treasure for the jolly pirate that we signed over seven years ago.

From the man himself: Rangers fans might want to take a picture, then say something Rangers. I might then say ‘5-1’, and then walk away laughing’.  Mikael Lustig (2017)

Thank you PC Lustig, we hope you come back and enjoy the party.


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April 25, 2020 6:26 am

Apologies to all for the format gremlins hitting this article,and particularly to ASWGL who clearly put a lot of effort into a terrific article.

I’ll try to put the correct links up as comments as I can’t edit this for some reason

April 25, 2020 6:27 am

JPEGs won’t copy over at all.

This is YouTube link one

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 6:28 am

The gremlins are toying with ye this morning Bobby!

April 25, 2020 6:28 am

I loved, and still love, Mika. His achievements and medals cannot be taken away from him! But, for me, as a defender, a fullback – he left us exposed so many times!!

April 25, 2020 6:30 am

And two

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 6:32 am

Brilliant article to start the day.

April 25, 2020 6:53 am


Terrific article,mate. Which I hope hasn’t been wrecked overly by me.

If I’m honest,PC Lustig wasn’t built physically for the Scottish game,not for a full-back at any rate. He just couldn’t put on the muscle tone and conditioning required to withstand the physical side-read:wearing The Hoops,to be hammered at will!-and his injury woes showed that. That’s not to detract from how good a player he was though,far from it. He took it,he never shirked,he handed it back with interest too whenever he got the chance. And not a bad centre-back either,when required.

Like one or two of his countrymen a few years before him,he definitely understood what the club meant to the fans,and he made sure that we knew that in return! Having big Johann around probably helped him a lot,and if you want a minder from your own neck of the woods while you start a new career in a new land,we should all be so lucky to have someone like him around!

As for hunskelping,I’ve rarely seen a foreign national take such a wicked pleasure from it. Oh aye,he got it alright.

Overall,I’d give him 8/10. Well,actually no. 8/9. And I hope he joins us next year to celebrate that 10!!!

April 25, 2020 6:55 am


Apologies also to you as deleting the first attempt at the article meant your earlier comments went the way of all things.

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 6:59 am

Oh no problems Bobby

I knew you were facing some techy issues. Above my pay grade I’m afraid.

April 25, 2020 7:13 am


Hmmm,mine too as it turns out. This happened once before,my iPad won’t open onto admin at all and my iPhone won’t allow it either. Now,only my work phone gets me in,but with limited access.

I’ll contact Mahe about it,because it’s becoming a pain in the arse. I can cope with that,but not when it causes problems on here.

Still,first world problems as the saying goes. Just been reading about the Brazilian healthcare system on the verge of collapse. Add in the long-term socio-political problems in Venezuela,economic meltdown in Argentina,continued rioting in Chile plus various problems cropping up elsewhere on related subjects in each of the other South American countries-bar Uruguay so far-and there is one huge tinderbox waiting to go off.

Meanwhile,most of Africa can only look at their problems and wish that they could be that lucky!

Aye. First world problem,right enough.

April 25, 2020 7:22 am

I know you’ll all have seen this already,or at least read about it,but watch the few seconds from 0.29 on as Dr Birx suddenly gets a cold shiver down her spine. If it’s any consolation to her,we all did.

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 7:56 am

I had a long conference call yesterday with the USA personnel of my company.

To say they are becoming more and more frustrated with the lockdown, would be seriously understating the absolute sense of fury that I could sense from them.

I’ve seen the protests taking place in the USA on the news. I got the impression they were few and far between, but following the call yesterday, I sense they’re going to grow, and possibly grow very quickly.

Discussion on the situation here was naturally focused around how we ,as a business survive without compromising the wellbeing of employees or the wider population. Although it wasn’t stated as a definitive timeline, I got the impression we will give it 6-8 weeks, and if nothing changes which allows us to see some income with no adverse health issues, it’ll be game over.

I was also given a lowdown on the fatality rates that are being classed as Covid v the drop in numbers of fatalities for other conditions . I’ve looked at similar statistics here, and whilst I’m not prepared to start another lengthy discussion on here which will be seen by many to undermine the seriousness and sadness that any death brings, I retain the view that the numbers being attributed to Covid are seriously flawed. The reasons for that escape me. I could speculate, but I’m sure this isn’t the place for it as it would serve no purpose other than create the division that’s been seen on here previously, and more importantly for me, be considered to be very disrespectful to folks who have seen loved ones taken from them.

I retain serious reservations on what is being reported in respect of fatality v cause .

Here’s hoping that whatever the accurate position is, the situation returns to some sense of normality ASAP and the fatality rates begin to drop.

Thoughts go out to anyone and everyone who has seen illness or worse in recent months.

April 25, 2020 8:10 am


There are two major problems with the headline figures,as I understand them. As we have previously discussed offline,I’m concerned that some infirm though otherwise well patients are being admitted,but only being put on a “care and maintenance” schedule,rather than treatment. This might cause a spike in numbers if and when those deaths are recorded as due to complications caused by COVID-19

The other,of course,is that the numbers in the headline figures only include those who die in hospitals. Those who die elsewhere have a death certificate signed off by a doctor who is unlikely to have the capability to test for the virus,so it will not be attributed to it.

Now,here’s another major issue. Hospitals everywhere have stopped “elective” procedures,judging them to be less of a priority than the overwhelming one that is filling most of the wards. But those elective procedures haven’t been scheduled just to fill time for bored doctors and surgeons. They have been scheduled to prevent or cure debilitating or indeed fatal illnesses. By the time these are rescheduled,it will be too late for many,but those deaths will NOT be recorded as COVID-19 related. Additionally it is being reported that A&E departments are virtually empty,as people either don’t want to bother busy staff or are petrified of catching the virus simply by attending. Stroke cases,for example,are under-reporting by around 50% in recent weeks.

So you are right to question,but there are way more questions to ask,I think.

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 8:22 am

Yes, a lot of questions. None more so than ones related to care home numbers.
I’ve personal knowledge of 5 cases this week whereby the deaths of residents were classed as Covid. Doctors will not attend the care home. They are instructing staff to record the death as Covid.

Most staff are “ doing what they’re told”

Only, I know of one who isn’t prepared to follow the instructions, because it impacts the funeral arrangements, ( you know who I mean) and who on refusing to authorise the paperwork was instructed to callthe police in to confirm no suspicious circumstances surrounded the death of the resident. So they did! The death was re classified as normal circumstances.

Rabona de Lustig (Harvey)
April 25, 2020 8:23 am


Fantastic read!

Lustig is probably my favourite cult hero of the last decade … in fact I’m changing my ‘name’ to Rabona de Lustig

Would love to see all the players involved in a big celebration of 10 IAR at Paradise come summer 2021!

April 25, 2020 8:39 am


Yep,and therein lies part of the problem with “headline” figures. We will certainly never know the true final toll,as the evidence will literally have been buried or burned. I’m delighted that some people are railing against the easy option as advised of classing all deaths of the elderly or infirm as Covid-19 related but I’m equally as concerned that numbers aren’t being so recorded because the testing facilities aren’t available outside of hospitals.

And also on the effect of people with serious or sudden illnesses remaining untreated due to being placed lower down the list of priorities. The NHS is performing miracles when it is asked to,but many people have been shunted down the queue,and when this is finally over and some semblance of normality returns,it will be too late for them.

But this isn’t a discussion for us,mate. This is a discussion which I hope will take place during an official enquiry in due course. There will be some people in high places wishing that their ambition and dogma hadn’t taken them to places they were intellectually unfit to be anywhere near.

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 8:46 am

Agree wholeheartedly bud. Maybe over time, in a less fractious and more relaxed environment, some questions will be raised and dealt with.

One aspect that concerns me is that for anyone such as the person I refer to in my earlier posts, is prepared to stand against the misrepresentation of the facts , they’re put under pressure to stfu and follow the instructions.

When you’ve dedicated you’re entire career to nursing, and are a stubborn principled character, there’s a lot at risk. Might not end well for said person. Who will give a shit about that?

Best move on …..back to the horses, oh shit, none. Ok, the hoops- who we playing today?

Anyone for hide n seek?

April 25, 2020 10:01 am

Morning Packy.
ASWGL, thanks for writing that leader. I was hoping Mikael would be featured. I have a huge soft spot for him, maybe not a giant in terms of his playing for us but a true Tim with a heart of gold. Gave 100%. Like others have mentioned I would love to see him celebrating our 10 in a row. Saw him at a supporter’s do and that big smile of his never left his face all night.

April 25, 2020 10:31 am

Good morning all from the star bar. A good read, well done. His in the pocket gesture at ipox was priceless.

Bada Bing
April 25, 2020 11:11 am

Big man love for Mika,a top player, he got us right away,he will be welcomed back anytime, a great guy around the dressing room, and with the younger players too.

Bada Bing
April 25, 2020 11:24 am

I wonder how many iPads and hand sanitizer you could get with this?

A thing of beauty
April 25, 2020 11:26 am

Just finished the read back from last night. I have to say some of the music on here is outstanding. I particularly enjoyed Paul Haig and then The silencers this morning. Never heard either of those tunes before.
Also MIT I would never compare you with Gerrard Butler. You are a good guy and he a ….!! Claims to be a Celtic supporter yet when I heard him a couple of years ago speaking on absolute radio he was wishing Steven Gerrard all the best for his new job at the Huns. Wtf? No Celtic supporter wishes any manager of that mob well unless he’s just trying to appeal to the masses. No time for that nonsense.
Top article today, highlighting the best and worst if that’s not too harsh of Mikel lustig. I remember being at hampden against hearts in the cup semi final ( you know the one where that Celtic great Craig Beattie scored the winner) and Mikel had the freedom of the right side. Sure enough he got forward at every opportunity and every time he delivered a shit ball. I was losing the place with him and said to my sister he will not do. You can’t be a Celtic right back if you can’t cross the ball. In fairness this never really improved but he managed somehow to win me over for a good 3/4 seasons. No doubt he was on the wane for a long time before he left. He wasn’t helped by the new rules on handball which saw him inexplicably seem to think that defending with his hands behind his back was the way to go but he was a great presence in the dressing room and was a proper hunskelper. He was also a great family man, very supportive of his wife in her own struggles, so all in all a top man.
Out for my morning run and never saw any of the aforementioned birds but will keep my eyes peeled. As for the rest of you sad lot that are looking at different kinds of birds. Try to remember what these young girls are thinking when they see you looking at them. ?????

Bada Bing
April 25, 2020 11:46 am

Big Forster definitely a contender for Player of the Season

April 25, 2020 1:00 pm

Magic tribute to Mikael bud.

The Gombeen Man
April 25, 2020 1:10 pm


Thanks for a terrific read on weekend 7 of the lock-in. I think I might start tunnelling my way out of here and use my 9 in a Row (x2) poster as cover. It’ll probably be 20 in a Row by the time I get out.

To be honest I really don’t mind the valuable time without the usual distractions/addictions.

The withdrawal from set patterns and routines is a challenge but after a while all the stuff that I thought were essential just seems to fall away.

Has Sevco’s infamous whistleblower broken cover?

Thought not…His whistle must be like one of those dug whistles that nobody else can hear.

Maybe he’s more like the Phantom Raspberry Blower of old Govan Town?

Maybe he’s a flute blower? Shame the Walk’s aff anaw.

Given the adjournment to all football proceedings (apart from the suits.) I’d have no problem with a full independent enquiry.

Let’s get to the roots and avoid a superficial trimming of the branches.

A full enquiry into the EBT years, the dodgy UEFA licences, the 5WA, Glibby’s appointment..

Sevco want to start the narrative at a juncture that suits their agenda.

A wee counter Resolution would be a bit of a raspberry. Shame our club is incapable/unable.

If I was at wee club…

Bada Bing
April 25, 2020 1:22 pm

Chelsea paying match day and casual staff as normal, as if games had been played.

April 25, 2020 2:00 pm

Afternoon all, never seen so many cyclists on the road in my life, I think i fixed the header, glad to chip in a wee bit, and always a bonus if some liked it, cheers. ?

HH ☘

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 2:08 pm

Is it tonight Mick’s quiz is on? 8pm?

April 25, 2020 2:12 pm

Twists yes

April 25, 2020 2:20 pm

A most enjoyable read.
Thank you.
I liked him as a player and as a person, he, his wife and young family embraced the Celtic way of life.

April 25, 2020 2:25 pm
Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 2:26 pm

When is someone gonna do an article on one of my favourites, Big Roy?

I couldn’t do it justice in the same way you fellas manage it. Big Roy was my kinda man.

April 25, 2020 2:27 pm

Lustig the footballer was good.
Lustig the man was even better.

April 25, 2020 2:37 pm

Afternoon all HH

Bada Bing
April 25, 2020 2:39 pm

A new low for BBC Scotland, Gregory Campbell from the DUP on Sportsound

Bada Bing
April 25, 2020 2:47 pm

Re an inquiry ‘ when we know who are involved, and what their background is….’


April 25, 2020 2:51 pm

I was looking at doing Roy, he deserves it.
Two lurkers recently got in touch with me and asked me to do, two other Celts.
Danny McGrain and Tom McAdam.
Things have conspired against me, Celtic Wiki website went down for over a week, although it’s back up and running now, I don’t like doing an article without referring to it, for me, its the best Celtic website out there and then, as you know, the bereavement happened.
I will add Roy to my list unless Mahe, ASWGL or anyone does him first.
Although I can’t see it being Mahe, Roy is before his time.

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 2:59 pm

Just when time permits my friend. I know you’ve more to deal with right now.

Danny Mcgrain a legend and big Tam McAdam was a fine player too

April 25, 2020 3:03 pm

Good morning friends and hope all are well.

Many many thanks for todays article pal. Gave me a free Friday evening that seen a great bottle of champagne kick my arse followed by every mosquito in California. Enjoyed myself while it lasted.

Mik,, a great servant, and overall it was fantastic business. Took about five to seven games to really settle and convince me, and I think many, and if memory serves correct not long after he joined he had some great games in Europe that made us think we had stolen a march here.

A Swedish international is never to be sniffed at, I hope we have many more in the future and his spell cant have not helped in that respect. I myself really regret telling him to eff off over the contract business, when he announced I will decide end of season whether Im staying or not.
In my defense the full facts were not known at the time, but it was a lesson learned.

Im also on record pointing out that had we not got a decent right back or two or three in, then would get sick of hearing Miks name cast up time and time again along with why not keep him.
Well now we can see why we didnt keep him. Frimps and El Hamed offer different dimensions to the team and we could plan the future around them or one of them. Mik was yesterdays man and it wouldnt be fair to see him hanging around when at that age you should be just playing and enjoying yourself, as he still is.
His stats suggest around 20 – 25 games a season over the long term and perhaps thats another reason why
1,,he ended up with us and staying with us instead of going down south.
2,,its not an area that is helped by chopping and changing so its best to get someone in who will more than likely play a lot more games than that.

Anyways, thanks for the memories Mik. You lived the dream.
Thanks again ASWGL.

April 25, 2020 3:04 pm

Very nice background that sets the mood for Magnus Magnusson to step forward with Big Packy playing that tune.

April 25, 2020 3:11 pm

Can any North American Tims tell me if they have discovered how to keep mosquitos away ?
Theres every contraption under the sun out there and last night I busted out this new UV light thing that was supposed to clear half an acre. Aye right.
The redneck solution I shit you not is Listerine in a spray bottle and give your uncovered areas a squirt. I just dont fancy trying it to find out.

Good afternoon Wee Fra. Enjoy the quiz, Im hopeless at music.
Hail Hail

April 25, 2020 3:13 pm

Twists we wrote about Big Jan when you were under the weather if youre looking a read

Twists n Turns
April 25, 2020 3:17 pm

I’ll have a look over that later . Thank ya muchly.

April 25, 2020 3:24 pm

Mahe anything with Deet in it, a midge net helps when fishing here, we don’t have mosquito’s, only midgies which are the Scottish equivalent to mosquito’s but with tacketty boots on..
Remember it’s only the females that bite you, for your blood, and as any Married man will tell you, females will bleed you dry ?

Mike in Toronto
April 25, 2020 3:35 pm


I would suggest going to a medical supply store, and buying tiny little syringes. Fill them with Lysol, Then leave them strategically around your yard, and see if you can get the mosquitos to inject themselves with the Lysol. Although you are in a Democratic state, and that may only work on mosquitoes in Republican states….

April 25, 2020 3:41 pm

Weefra, Afternoon buddy, hope you’re well. Lovin this weather. Would have been an ideal day for a game at Celtic Park. I used to get blinded with the sun in the lower North Stand. A good thing to complain about! 🙂

April 25, 2020 3:42 pm

ASWGL I believe deet is outlawed in this state plus if it has that dodgy chemical in it no thanks even if it does work.
A fan blowing on me, UV light and surrounded by citronella candles last night ffs.

April 25, 2020 3:48 pm

If they thought I had you on retainer they might think twice?
Stunning again here but tonight will see another battle. 350 sq ft deck and cleared away the trees to open the view, yet it’s a nightmare at times!
Something needs to happen, if its a wee room inside a net and get called city boy then so be it.
Gonna get some yard work done next few hours before it gets too hot.
Hold it down.
Hail Hail

Mike in Toronto
April 25, 2020 3:53 pm


You say, UV light? I hear, Dim the lighting to set the mood …

You say, a fan blowing? I imagine a gentle breeze blowing in the hot desert night…

Candles? …

All you need is Rod Stewart singing ‘Tonight’s the Night’ on the stereo …or maybe Teddy Pendergrass,… and that sounds like my best ever date!

Okay …I have obviously been social isolating for too long??

April 25, 2020 3:54 pm

Mahe jimthetim53

Hi ghuys we are all well here on this fabulous day. Was just reading about the US vicar who died after injecting Domestos in to his veins, they are charging Trump with bleach of the priest. ????HH

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