Football,eh? Bloody Hell!!!


For the last week or so,I’ve been driving around in a Vauxhall Astra. Not a bad car to be honest,but not as comfortable as my van-and definitely not on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning when I do about 350 miles or so. No DAB radio though,so no Planet Rock or World Service for me. I was reduced to listening to the Liverpool v Chelsea game on R5. 

And what a game it was,an eight-goal thriller to use a tired old cliché. But it was completely overshadowed by events in the division below,now known as The Championship. It was everything that makes us all adore the game,and after twenty weeks,it was so good to be reminded of it. 

It was the last game of the season,and unbelievably-due to relegation,promotion and play-off places still to be decided-ten out of the twelve games mattered to at least one of the teams involved. I’ll briefly give you the main permutations. 

The second promotion place would go to West Brom if they won,or if they matched or bettered the Brentford result. To Brentford if they bettered the West Brom result. To Fulham if they won,Brentford didn’t,and West Brom lost. 

West Brom were at home to mid-table QPR. Brentford were at home to Barnsley,who looked certainties for relegation,needing a win and some other results to go their way. Fulham were away to mid-table Wigan-who still needed to win due to the imposition of a twelve point penalty for going into administration,which would be imposed at the final whistle. 

Down the bottom were Barnsley,Charlton-who would survive their visit to champions Leeds as long as Barnsley and Wigan didn’t win,and Luton,who needed a better result than at least one of them to stay up. And Hull,who needed a miracle. 

In the play-offs,apart from the  teams mentioned earlier,were Cardiff City and Nottingham Forest. Both on 70 points,they looked safe. Swansea were three points behind,and the respective goal differences of 7,11 and 5 would surely ensure that. 

Cardiff were at home to the doomed Hull City,Forest to a now safe Stoke City,while Swansea were away to an also safe Reading. 

Right. Have you got that?

Well,Charlton got humped. But that was ok if Barnsley didn’t win. And although they took the lead against Brentford,they were pulled back late on. That draw would put Barnsley down while Brentford would need QPR-who were outplaying a poor West Brom-to get a late winner,the score being 2-2. Fulham  were doing their bit the hard way too,coming from behind to level. Luton,meanwhile,had been pulled back to 3-2 by Blackburn and dare not lose an equaliser. West Brom dare not lose a winner,while Brentford and Barnsley both needed one!

So did both Wigan and Fulham in their match,but neither achieved their goal,the match finishing 1-1. Luton held on to maintain their place in the division next season. West Brom held out for the draw while hoping that Brentford wouldn’t find a winner. Charlton were safe unless Barnsley did! 

And they managed it in bloody injury time,which took them above both Wigan and Charlton. It was genuinely thrill-a-minute stuff,superbly relayed by the BBC. Jeff Stelling and his lads couldn’t have done it better-and besides,Chris Kamara would have been hyperventilating long before the end!

But the tensest bit of the evening was being played out over the final play-off places,as if the above wasn’t enough to be getting on with. Cardiff had taken the third play-off place,but while Forest and Swansea had both earlier looked like playing out draws in their respective matches,a late late turnaround in both changed everything! Swansea stepped up a gear by hammering three late goals past Reading,but they still needed Stoke to score another two goals in a fairly local derby. They didn’t-they scored three!

The last,six minutes into injury time and an own goal,just rubbed salt in the wounds-and they might take some time to heal. 

Seriously,I’ve never known so much to be hanging on so many games so late in the day,and I was delighted for everyone who got what they wanted-and felt for everyone who got mugged at the final hurdle. Especially Wigan,who got relegated through no fault of their own. And yet,there may be further twists in this. Wigan can,of course,appeal. I think they’re onto plums for it,mind. But Derby County and Sheffield Wednesday are both facing Football League inquiries into FFP breaches which could see them deducted points. Both charges revolve around the owners of each club buying the ground from the club,which injects funds into the club by selling the owner something he already owns. 

The relevant number of points needed to save Charlton is nine,imposed on Sheffield Wednesday. To save Wigan as well,it would take a seventeen point penalty on Derby too. 

Don’t be surprised if it happens. The owners owned the clubs which owned the grounds. That means they already owned the grounds. That’s blatant. 


By Sunday,I should have got my heart rate down after all of that,just in time for it to start again in the EPL,again the final round of matches. This is a more simple equation. The first two Champions League places have already been claimed by Liverpool and Man City,with two to play for. Chelsea,Leicester City and Man Utd are in the running for the other two,with the loser dropping into the Europa League. And the latter two play each other on the final day!

As Man City won The League Cup,it means that there is another EL place for finishing sixth. That place is currently taken by Wolves. Who visit Chelsea on the final day. If both games finish drawn,Chelsea drop to the EL-but that probably won’t suit Wolves because Spurs are away to Palace-who have been rank rotten since the return- on the final day,and a win would put them in sixth place. Even a draw would do if Chelsea won. Which would leave Wolves stuffed. 

The other end of the table seems a bit simpler. Watford and Villa are tied on 34 points,with goal difference of -27 and -26 respectively. Bournemouth are three points below with a goal difference of -27. Bournemouth need a win while the others lose. 

All three are away from home! Watford at Arsenal. Bournemouth at Everton. Villa at West Ham. Thing is,Everton too have been rubbish since the break. West Ham are safe,and probably relieved to be so. Arsenal may have their eyes on The Cup Final next week. So who knows how these games will go? Could be interesting,though I suspect Villa will be the only team to take a point. 

But in a similar way to the championship,there could be a final,post-season twist. This one not requiring disciplinary procedures. If Chelsea win the cup,the seventh team in the table,either Wolves or Spurs,gets the final EL qualification place. Either could be out of Europe one week,and back in the next. 

“Football,eh? Bloody hell” 

It’s why we love it!!!


Above article by BMCUWP. 

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
July 24, 2020 8:01 am


Mick I don’t watch English football ,I have no idea who or what you’re talking about, but
a good,good effort anyways . :O) HH

July 24, 2020 8:34 am


Quite honestly,I haven’t bothered with the games post-lockdown,and I rarely watch even a highlights programme during the season. But the coverage and the permutations on Wednesday night was fantastic. The play-off situation in England has really been a game changer down there,with virtually everyone in the table dreaming of winning their last four games to get a spot,etc.

So it got me thinking about the EPL on Sunday,and as I’m not working the following day,I reckon that a day in the pub watching Chris Kamara hyperventilating and Paul Merson stuttering over his words,while Charlie The Soup invents new ones specially for the occasion,well,that sounds just the job.

BTW,long lost interest in English football. Happened when Souness took over at Newcastle. I went straight out and bought a Sunderland shirt in protest. I loved going there when I lived nearby. A walk along the Gallowgate to the park-sound familiar?-and a few beers in The Strawberry,etc. Back into town for a fair few more. They had the likes of Beardsley then-and Gascogne,who usually refused to pass to him!

Makes me wish I was 23 again. A lot of things do.

big packy
July 24, 2020 8:36 am

MORNING ALL and JIM, BOBBY ffs its bad enough living down here without talking about their football? your vauxhall astra story had me thinking, remember the 7/7 bombings in london, i was meant to deliver a load down there the next day to the barbican theatre, my boss phoned up the manager for advice, he said stay away the roads are all blocked off ,so he said to me ive got 2 bankers boxes of documents to take down to a place called hamble le rice near southampton, i will hire you a car for the day, it was a brand new vauxhall corsa, boy could it shift, anyway flew past jct14 of the M6, next thing blue lights and sirens behind me, they pull me over, i get out right get in the back he says, i then lock the corsa, the other copper says what are you locking it for its not going anywhere, in a sarcastic voice? anyway he clocked me at 88 mph, now he said look its 6 in the morning, there is hardly any traffic about, so i will give you a fixed penaly notice, but want give you any points, i was over the moon, another true story?

Noel Skytrot
July 24, 2020 8:53 am

I lost interest in English football due to the majority of the pundits besmirching our game, including our Invincible Season.

I’m seeing a lot of chat that we’ve agreed a deal for the goalkeeper from Greece.

July 24, 2020 9:05 am

Phew, just phew!

July 24, 2020 10:16 am

That was some effort, to remember all that, then write it out. Very well done.

July 24, 2020 11:03 am


About seven years ago,did a different route from my usual on the Thursday afternoon. Not a problem as I know all the routes anyway-bloody should do,been there long enough! Anyway,it was in Trowbridge. There are two main roads into the town-the first one or the second one,if you’re coming from the north!

This route would usually take the first one,but it was closed. So I took the second one,about three miles down. Which is actually the way I would usually leave the town on this route,so I decided to change the delivery order to suit.

So first drop was a service station just as I hit the town at the first roundabout. I took the papers in and came out to be greeted by two police officers and an unmarked Range Rover. Do you know what speed you were doing on the approach, sir?

Erm,about 53 I replied. Slowed down to thirty as I hit the roundabout,officer. I was puzzled. Fifty till the roundabout and thirty afterwards. Been that way for the ten years I’d been delivering to Trowbridge.

Blinkin’ flip. They’d built bloody houses on the approach,dropped the limit to thirty-and I hadn’t noticed because I was mentally reconfiguring the route! And btw,it was 55mph.

They let me off on this one by some stretch. 20+ over 30 is a court appearance,as I pointed out,beating myself up. One of them said that he reckoned it was a genuine oversight,my driving wasn’t dangerous even if my speed was,and they would issue a fixed penalty,£60 and three points.

I’ve only had three tickets this century,and all in thirty zones which previously weren’t. I was livid at the first two,but bloody grateful with this one!

July 24, 2020 11:07 am


Thanks,lads. Tbh,I couldn’t remember the exact details but I certainly will remember the breathless interjections from various grounds. I just used the BBC website for the final tables and worked backwards.

July 24, 2020 11:08 am


Dunno much about the Greek keeper,but we definitely need one from somewhere!!!

July 24, 2020 11:37 am

Good morning all from the Star Bar. Good Post Mick, I won a few bob that night. For a change.

July 24, 2020 12:14 pm


Good lad.

I bet you threw your slip away a few times!

July 24, 2020 2:22 pm

Garry, if you’re about text me and let me know where I can get you about 3 o’clock.

big packy
July 24, 2020 2:32 pm

BOBBY @ 11-03, the bassas could just have given you the fixed penalty and forgotten about the points, ffs it was a genuine mistake?

big packy
July 24, 2020 2:36 pm

AFTERNOON ALL and JIM, are you in the beer garden jim, im in shotts at the moment, ill come and join you?

July 24, 2020 3:02 pm

Good morning folks and a big happy Friday.
God bless all those with health problems and those less fortunate than ourselves.

One hell of a read Bobby. You clearly understood the permutations, well done.
The Championship is a cracking league imo.
Very hard to get out of.

Coffee time
Hail Hail

Sol Kitts
July 24, 2020 3:21 pm

Big Packy
Did I tell you that I went to Shutts once and it was shot? Another true spoonerism ??

big packy
July 24, 2020 3:29 pm

SOL,,shutts is always shot??

big packy
July 24, 2020 3:40 pm

SOL, remember delivering to the depot near the mcdonalds on festival park once, it was about 3 in the morning, then i had to go to gatwick airport, so had to go across the dartford bridge,, it was windy and just remember the lights of ships way down below, ffs im scared of heights, boy was i glad when i landed on the other side??

July 24, 2020 3:53 pm


I really hope Wigan are saved and their owner gets his relegation bet money withheld. So, no harm to Derby or Sheff. Wed but I hope the EFA has the balls to stand up to them.

BTW, I watched and recorded the Cincinnati and Red Bull game and was impressed with Andrew Gutman. The highlights do not do him justice as I saw strong tackling, defensive heading ability and strong athleticism on the overlap. He had the NY right winger in his pocket. I just don’t know what standard MLS is at currently but Gutman still looks a prospect to me.

July 24, 2020 4:56 pm

The club are right in getting some games arranged, and testing this new system.
2 games in two days will have Tims happy.

July 24, 2020 5:24 pm

You don’t say!
Your own team?

July 24, 2020 5:34 pm

A wee tune for our new guest.

July 24, 2020 5:35 pm

Apologies all.
Apparently it’s a sign we are very popular.
I’m told it’s a compliment!

July 24, 2020 5:41 pm

Think I just saw a ghost!?

??? Celtic plc hun lovin criminals
July 24, 2020 5:53 pm

? Cannae leave the blog hanging is there a need for a taxi app ?

Magic ??

July 24, 2020 5:56 pm

Thanks very much for that today. Great to meet you. So far I have just looked at the photos in the three books, but I am very much looking forward to reading them. Thanks again.

July 24, 2020 6:55 pm

Evening all


12-20pm deadline tomorrow.

July 24, 2020 6:56 pm Bruce Springsteen: From My Home To Yours-Volume 1on Radio 2 @ midnight ?

Sol Kitts
July 24, 2020 7:01 pm

Big Packy
They’ve reduced the speed limit on the bridge to 50 mph, just to keep you on there for longer ??. Buggers have also installed average speed cameras. All about making £££££s☹️☹️

big packy
July 24, 2020 7:08 pm

NEWRADBHOY, if your lurking just seen the covid figures for blackburn, hope you are in the bolton end of darwen ? you no what i mean, weefra hope you are well, fan get back posting, the same to you the gombeen man,.HAIL HAIL?

big packy
July 24, 2020 7:10 pm

SOL, dont worry i would not speed on that bridge??

July 24, 2020 7:13 pm

Twists Is anyone not backing Henrik in the first race at York tomorrow ? ?

big packy
July 24, 2020 7:24 pm

AFGHAN, hope you and the wee dug are ok, ASWGL,have not seen you on for a while, hope your ok pal?

A thing of beauty
July 24, 2020 7:32 pm

Well done bmcuwp on putting that altogether. It was some night. If you are a Nottingham forest fan you would be going tonto. That was criminal lack of bottle from professional players. I notice forest had the ex hun wonder boy joe worrall at centre half. Well played son.
Talking of the ibrox mob, I see they have made another signing. Best centre half in the championship according to the guff in the MSM. I’m sure they said joe worrall was a future England captain anaw. Time will tell.

July 24, 2020 7:39 pm

Leave your horse details here pls

July 24, 2020 7:42 pm

I hope we go for the Athens goalkeeper , big Fraser i don’t think will be heading back to us cash is king , if it wasn’t we would still have KT . No way will celtic break the pay scale frasers wage unfortunately is way beyond anything we pay . Had a good look at sevco s new man there , he is one big gorilla of a player , nightmares I fear for a few of our wee bhoys .

July 24, 2020 7:44 pm Far-right Chelsea fan jailed for attack on Guardian journalist Owen Jones

July 24, 2020 7:47 pm

I heard today that we are looking at Roma keeper and Swedish number 1, Robin Olsen. Would be great signing, if true.

??? Celtic plc hun lovin criminals
July 24, 2020 7:58 pm


All good thank you as i hope you & Joan are ?

Received the other two unique codes today for virtual season ticket holder’s.

Well done for a change the youngest season ticket holder is delighted to have access on their own device.

Well done so far Celtic & thankfully as reported it’s not one code for all three.
Different households would have been nightmare otherwise.

July 24, 2020 8:05 pm

French Cup Final PSG v St Etienne on BT Sports ??

Paddy Turner
July 24, 2020 8:06 pm

Evening all……..Ta Run Ta Rara Ra Run Ta Ra……

Talk earlier about Shotts…the only time I have been near was on a repair job at Kirk of Shotts Transmitter way back in late 60’s…never visited Shotts, but did pass through Harthill…..lovely.

big packy
July 24, 2020 8:07 pm


July 24, 2020 9:19 pm

Harthill, toilet of a Service Station.
Hun hell hole of a place. Best body swerved.

Mike in Toronto
July 24, 2020 9:33 pm

Its Friday night, so how about a bit of music. One of my favourite ever singles from a Scottish band… actually, one of my favourite singles ever.

July 24, 2020 9:41 pm

Reg.the boss on radio 2
Is that not just a replay of Cyrus fm radio which plays mostly springsteen,which was aired on june

July 24, 2020 9:46 pm

Watching the Boss now Barcelona gig 2002.
Brilliant entertainer..

July 24, 2020 10:14 pm

Thanks for the tip-off about the radio show,lads. Sounds likely that Trump won’t be listening in!

July 24, 2020 10:17 pm

Bloody double post. Tut tut.