The Smallest Gene Pool In The World
What is it with your average Hun/Loyalist? They demand that we all speak “Ra Queen’s English”. However, most of them seem to have a severe problem with basic English, Arithmetic and indeed History.
Take for instance, a simple four syllable word…Li-quid-a-tion.
Now most us know the precise meaning of this word. Death. The end of existence etc. Glasgow Rangers, formed in 1872, died in 2012. In Scots Law, if a company is liquidated, then anything run by said company also ceases to exist. Simple enough. Not for the Huns or the MSSM however…or the PLC at Celtic Park for that matter. Not at all. Thanks to the 5wa Sevco miraculously became the very same club. They are ‘Stull Raingurz’. How thick and out of touch do you have to be to believe all this shoite?
Then there is the small matter of the number 1 being the same as the number 55. Whenever I think upon the morons that believe this shoite, I always picture an American TV Evangelist raising his arms and exclaiming “Praise be, it’s a miracle”. It certainly is. The biggest miracle to happen, in fact, since the last time an Aberdonian bought a round.
Well that’s the theory. Is there any place in Scotland, where these ideas are put into practice? Well, plenty actually, but let’s discuss Larkhall. For those that have not have the dubious pleasure of visiting there, what can be said about this place? Well, it is a place stuck in the 90s…the 1690s. It is a cesspool of racism and bigotry. It is the only place in the world, where 20,000 people can tie for first place in the annual ‘Village Idiot’ contest. Being Huns, the organisers of the event do not give out trophies to the lucky winners. As a shower of dour-faced, miserable feckers, the winners have to settle for a lapel sticker bearing the legend ‘Larkhall Village Idiot’. As you can well imagine, these stickers are highly prized, and are nearly as popular as feckin’ poppies, as year round fashion accessories.
So what about the local Tims? There are more than a few of them. Fortunately, they are barred from the annual ‘Village Idiot’ contest as:
They have an IQ higher than their shoe size.
Have 5 toes on each foot, rather than cloven hooves.
Their sister is not their ma.
Their brother is not their da
They have not married their brother/sister.
The above also applies to all Loyalist area in Scotland. I would not wish to offend residents of other towns, pissed-off at me for a lack of recognition.
I would like to finish this wee bit of whimsy from me, by thanking those that have played their part in facilitating the resurrection of the rangers, thereby ensuring another weekend of mayhem, as Orange bastards cause mayhem in our town once again, in celebration of their teams VERY FIRST major honour. So here’s to:
The most noble of Masonic fraternities, the Lanarkshire Referees Association.
The architects of the 5wa.
Lord Nimmo Smith.
The Scottish Govt.
and last, but certainly not least:
The collaborators, cheats, thieving feckers and all round shower of Hun bastards that glory in the name ‘The PLC’. I absolutely refuse to put the honourable name ‘Celtic’, in front of that disgraceful 3 letter acronym.
Could all of the above please take a flying f**k to yourselves, and don’t let the door hit you on the way oot.
Oh aye, nearly forgot. How much of a total thicko do you have to be, to believe that your team is ‘invincible’, despite having been fecked out of 110 cup competitions… that’s 2 cup competitions, in the parlance of normal people.
Hail Hail to the wonderful family known as Sentinel Celts.