The Gold Firm

‘There’s no business like show business’ the old song went. Some things never grow old, just ask super heroes, now to be found more on Netflix than children’s comics.

This post Covid, pre nuclear holocaust world is crying out to be entertained,the cooped up anxious to spend their hard earned and saved.

Australians top the list having been denied their beautiful landscape and beaches for lockdown after lockdown, and wondering if its their last shrimp on the barbie as Putin decides yes or no regarding mankind’s future.

Step forward Glasgow Celtic and Rangers.

The Old Firm.

A 90 minute battle.

And for the first time, this unmissable event shall take place on Ozzie soil.

But will Ozzie’s take to the occasion?

After all they do have their own sports and rivalries, so why would someone attempt to import another?

And if successful once, the door is opened, further poluting the finite pool of supporter attendance income.

Some, it seems, aren’t impressed.

St.Kildas Vice President instantly replied “they can shove their bloody kilts where the sun doesn’t shine” before it was explained the kilt covers the bits where the sun shouldn’t shine.

“Bloody soccer! Strewth!” he continued.

“No booze on the day” stated the Azerbaijan foreign minister upon being notified of the upcoming fixture, although it’s unclear if this is official government policy.

Pre release tickets were quickly snapped up though. Kylie Minnogues hot sister Danni quickly grabbed a VIP box, soon followed by Conor McGregor which immediately set tongues wagging, but perhaps it was the Pakistan minister for Foreign Affairs who really got toungues wagging with his stark statement that “in this time of nuclear threat, the last thing Austral-Asia needs is a sectarian riot.”

He speaks from first hand experience. During his stint in Scotlands second city he witnessed first hand the effect this unmissable clash can have upon the native populace.

“One night, and I remember it was after Samaras tore them apart, a customer came into the restaurant with no money and no matter what language we tried he couldn’t understand we don’t just give away food. Eventually he bit a piece of his belt off, and asked us to batter and deep fry it. I’m not going.”

The Irish Foreign Affairs Minister was less frosty,,,

“Sure look many of us have family or friends in Australia, because it’s a great place! It’s the new world, full of opportunity.

Everyone left the Old World behind when they moved but if course it’s a given all 21,126 Irish bars will be at maximum capacity, and then there’s the rest of the world who doesn’t know the craic. Huge, feckin huge. I’ll be snagging tickets myself and between you and me McGregors after Kylie I heard.”

But how does the average Australian on the street feel.

We asked several.

Mick O’Connor – sounds like an early Paddy’s day!

Tamara Jones – Soccer yobs eww.

Danella Terry – Plenty police please, my neice lives close to the stadium.

Austin Molenko – Those kids think they’re hard, bring it!

Pukka Mc Stravick – let’s see if they can drink!

Evelina Bienska – Kilts? Why not!

No one however asked the teams fans what they thought, until now.

Jim the Timothy – Me and planes don’t mix but apart from that it’s greed! I’m not going, even if Bobby Murdoch’s calls it a Hoot!

Auldestheid – Special things happen in the sun, recall we won that famous cup final 7-1 and that was in the sun, so I always associate the sun with famous Celtic victories but that’s just me. The fans certainly come alive in the sunshine, many go home with the triple whammy, sore bank account, sunburnt scalp, and a neck you could fry an egg on but is it all worth it? We’ll see.

Sags Mc Gill – OZ yes. OF no.

William Bellington – Never. This is the unseen hand once again filling a stadium full of the opposition fans to goad on a victory and besmirch our clubs great name in the process. Need I remind you that this is a country that renownced Her Majesty the queen in a recent vote, and was founded by Irish criminals.

There are no bears in Australia, not fierce ones anyway, nor will there be travelling ones on this occasion.

The Kellys and their ilk can have the occasion.

Victor Worthington – We would be heavily outnumbered and them Ozzie cops would take their side cos they’re all Kelly’s and O’Reilly’s. Stay away.

Sadie Travers – They’ll be playing each other on the moon next. You can’t get a ferry to the moon , then what will they do? They’re cutting their arm off to spite their face, playing each other over there knowing people with not much money want to be there,,the ones that actually care about the club half of them can’t afford it.

The real fans won’t be there. Who can take a holiday to Australia just before Christmas?

As the host stadium executives rub their hands, it now boils down to the PR war.

How will this historic clash be not only sold out, but billed as unmissable so as to whet the appetite for more?

The Stadiums Head of Marketing believes he has found the answer.

Scott Stolwinkle explained “We looked at the raw energy contained within the world famous Old Firm clash and we said Australia could really do with that energy, and I’m not talking as a resource here. I’m talking that aggression and passion.

Right now we have multiple enemies across the globe and I can’t think of a better way to stir people’s emotions than to beam this game into every household and give them their own little piece of Braveheart. You know, after the game be standing in their sofas shouting ‘Freedom’ but without the warpaint and sword.

We want the X-Factor in town, you know, kilts, beer, songs, and maybe a punch or two thrown for old times sake.

The tourists will love it, I can see them booking the place out just to get a front row seat of the action, and that right there my friend is where the money’s at.

Yearly, that’s the aim, and we shall be encouraging both sides to go in tough and hold nothing back. We wanna a spectacle!”

It remains to be seen if Scotland can successfully export it’s most prestigious sporting event, but it’s fair to ask without the usual fans in attendance is it actually a true derby clash? Without league points or a cup on the line, without thousands of Scots and Irish cheering their heroes on, is it really a genuine Celtic vs Rangers tussle?

The day after, is probably the best time answer the question.

By Mahe

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Top drawer stuff,Mahe!!!

The Gombeen Man

Good read Mahe,

Ange hits the road with the Old Firm, Travelling Circus.

We all know that everyone will watch the thing, so it’s pretty pointless wasting time by whinging too much.

Normally tourists have to travel overseas to see castles, dungeons and the relics of the past. This is a rare opportunity to experience the old world without the hassle of foreign travel.

Celtic’s silence is frustrating, it’s the same tactic that’s always employed. The Board are smart enough to know that the initial negativity will die down and will eventually be forgotten about.

The process of unconscious rationalisation has already begun.

Day One, “We’re no two cheeks of the same arse.”

Day Two, “Nae feckin wae.”

Day Three, “We’re Headlining. Sevco are bottom of the bill.”

Day Four, “Check out Sevco Media. They’re going Tonto.”

Day Five, “The support in Oz, are up for it.”

Day Six, “We’ll make more money than a full SPFL Season.”

Day Seven, “Support the team. Not the Board – I’m watching it. Mon the hoops…Whit time’s it at, oor time?”

Hopefully diluting the the Old Firm in this way will help a few more to see through the absurdity of it all…

Probably not, it’s likely to come back reinvigorated.

Have a great weekend.


The Old Firm
Well, the plc have just doubled down on its “old firmism” in the face of limited criticism. There’s no doubt that there’s an appetite for the game in Oz, and all our arguments about the bigot pound, corrupt game, liquidation etc etc will go unheeded. If the klan turn up to the game, and their full reportois gets aired, with maybe a bit of dignified George Sq style celebrations, the Aussies, and Ange, will understand what we’re on about.
It seems just now that they’re boycotting the occasion, so it could be a bit of a Timfest.

The Gombeen Man

I’m not a newshound but I came across this last night…

It’s been pretty impressive how many Irish families have offered to take Ukrainian refugees into their homes.

The Government too deserve credit, by refusing to put any numerical limit on the number of refugees who’ll be given sanctuary in Ireland, without Visas.

Meanwhile, the Russian Ambassador isn’t too happy…

“Ireland is at the forefront of anti-Russian measures in Europe.”

Register being set up to pledge support for refugees arriving in Ireland.

Apart from the obvious humanitarian factors, two factors are at play,

A) There’s an identification with the suffering of the Ukrainian people at the hands of an external aggressor and the experience of the Irish at the hands of the English.

B) The Celts migrated across Europe to Ireland. Many who have arrived here in recent years, share a common history. Often Eastern European folk not only think like the Irish they often look Irish.

Marginalised Celtic brothers and sisters?

Yes, there is the suspicion of double standards, when we consider other conflicts, in a European context this is pretty much unprecedented since WWII.


That’s interesting about a potential boycott by the Sevco support. Shows the benefit of the Board saying nothing and having someone like Ange to support the venture.

The Plc are much shrewder operators.

And there’s a different mindset between the two support.
They still haven’t got it.

Till Later.

Saltires en Sevilla

Great fun read Mahe

Wondering what the uptake is likely to be by Oz Celts -can’t imagine any clued up Bhoys would allow themselves to be scammed by this ridiculous OF effort.

Is it a Kerry Packer enterprise? 😁

Saltires en Sevilla


That book on shirts will be worth having in hardback – only books I buy in hardback these days are Celtic … in fact only printed books I keep now are Celtic – some cracking efforts down the years by dedicated Celts.

Was it you or Craig76 mentioned a book about football grounds .. The Holy Ground ??

Thought I was getting that in my stocking last Christmas … 😉

The Gombeen Man


“…. If the klan turn up to the game.”

But have the Sevco High Command not signed Contracts?

They must have been duped again.

Saltires en Sevilla


Loved the cricket… when Shane was playing – him and Big Merv

The wind ups and incessant sledging chat – who was his wicket keeper:

“Nice one one Warney…give it him again Warney… ”


Too young and felt very sad when I saw that news yesterday.


Interesting reading back last night on the subject of Celtic shirts. The rarest Celtic shirt seems to be The Shamrock – Political Shirt.

There’s not much known about that shirt. White body and Green sleeves, with a large green shamrock and green number on the back. They hint that the reason it was called The Political Shirt is because the SFA objected to the size of the shamrock. I’m sure that I read some time back that there was only around 25 of these shirts ever produced, one set of the shirt i mentioned and one set for the reserves in the opposite colours, hence only 25 being produced. It is thought that there are only around three still in existence, one signed by Big Billy sold at auction last year for over £12,500 including fees. i know that one sold at Stevie Chalmers McTear’s auction sale for £7000. Apparently after SFA objections to that jersey, the Celtic players were told to set them on fire after training, one player Billy Price, retrieved what he thought was his shirt the number 6, but he pulled out from the fire the number 9 shirt which had belonged to John Hughes. Later Cesar confirmed that it was his shirt and that he had signed it had been given to the Franciscan Sisters of The Immaculate Conception.
The all green strip was at the time I believe Celtics second or away strip that was in Bobby Murdoch’s picture.


Meaningless games v Rangers.
Many die hards will say there’s no such thing. In recent years, the final derby of the season has been a dead rubber with the title already decided. Indeed, in the Rodgers years, the last two derbies were incidental in the title race. However, there was always the motivation to either inflict or stop a whitewash, to salvage some pride. This Aussie romp will be totally meaningless. I’m keen to see what the turnout actually is.
The only other trivial derby game I remember is a Dryburgh Cup final at Hampden c1973. Went to penalties. Jinky scored winner. The were ragin the pens were at Celtic end. Unfair advantage blah, blah. Same old Rangers, aye moanin’.

St tams

Great story about the shamrock shirt

Must admit, I loved that all green strip.
I remember being at a game when I was about 6/7 ,when we wore that all green strip and the team posed for a picture with Sean Connery .

Anyone know who we were playing and why we had that strip on


St tams. I just checked Celtic wiki, I should have read it first.It shows the large shamrock strip in the 1960s being worn by the players.
it says that in 1964-65 Celtic started wearing the all green strip until 1967 – 68. Hope that helps and while I am on……

Do not purchase anything Celtic from a company called “Total Sport”, my wife ordered the all green strip from them for our Grandsons Christmas, she paid for it and it never arrived, they never responded to any calls or eMails, they are Fraudsters.

Sol Kitts

I always pay for internet purchases using PayPal, or at a push using a credit card. On a few occasions where goods didn’t arrive I contacted PayPal, who investigated then refunded me in full. You have the same protection using your credit card.


Good afternoon all from Shawlands. Another day of fun and frolics. 👍🍺

Prestonpans bhoys


As I said on here or CQN, I’m the opposite. Told the girl that it said ‘not authorized’ ie needs pin. I was told to move on as there was a queue😵😱👍


Prestonpans bhoys
The club will be emailing you with an invoice as we speak for your pie, can’t be giving away free food now 🤣🤣🥧

St tams

Just checked my account.
Had been charged twice on Wednesday night





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Big Audio Dynamite

How dare any MSP fail to keep up the pretence that Sevco are Rangers and have been going uninterrupted for 150 years. Stick to the script, ya bunch of numpties.

Only in Scotland!!

Big Audio Dynamite

Tell a lie …make it a big one …tell it often …repeat over and over again.

Viola! Watch it become reality. Goebbels would’ve been impressed.

Margaret McGill

the traveling bears wont have the koalafications

Big Audio Dynamite

A 150yo club celebrating it’s 10th anniversary 🙈🙉🙊

Margaret McGill

…and after the upcoming nuclear holocaust they’ll have to settle on apocalyptus leaves.


T H E – S H A M R O C K ☘️ (@TheShamrock1888) Tweeted: How it started
How it’s going 💀

The Gombeen Man

                         An Déise Abú

Good luck this afternoon at Ibrox to Waterford man Jim Goodwin.

Anyone who knows a Waterford man will know that the word The Déise, is held in great reverence in that part of the country.

Waterford is the anglicisation of the original Old Norse name Veðrafjǫrðr, related to fjord.
In the Irish it’s – Phort Láirge or Lárags’ Port).

So where does The Déise come in?

Déise is pronounced – Day Shaa.

The term Déise or Déisi is derived from the word ‘déis’, which meant ‘vassal’, or ‘subject-people’ in Old Irish.

It’s suggested that the Déise were the descendants of some of the earliest settlers in Ireland and were as a result, excluded from the major kingships, and thus took on the status of a subject people.

A romantic description of the origins of the Déise, is that, they originally lived near Tara, County Meath and were expelled from there, perhaps in the third century. They wandered through Leinster for a number of years. One branch crossed the Irish Sea and colonised Dyfed in South Wales.

A nomadic people, not connected to the established order. Rent paying groups who, over time developed a form of kinship between them.

Those remaining in Ireland subsequently settled in south Munster. The territory of the Déise originally stretched from the Waterford coast in a broad belt through south Tipperary and Limerick. They probably maintained a broad political and dynastic unity until the eighth century.

The land of the Déise was ruled, up to the arrival of the Anglo Normans by the chieftain or regional King of the Déise, who, in later times, was usually, if not always, an O’Phelan. Even in the early thirteenth century, the O’Phelans were still referred to in the Annals of the Four Masters as ‘tighearna na nDiisi Mumhan’ (Lords of the Déise of Munster).

According to the legend in the Life of Declan, St. Patrick ordained that ‘Declán Pátraic na nDéisi, na Déisi ag Declán go bráth’, meaning that Declan was the ‘Patrick’ i.e.the Apostle of the Déise, and that the Déise people should have their own diocese for ever.

In modern terms – Land and status for the refuge, I guess.

Hence the motto,

“”May the Déise remain with (St)Declan forever.”

As usual with all historical material, especially football, nothing should be taken as verbatim.

So at 3pm it’s…

An Déise Abú….”Victory to the Déise.”

Given that the Déise were the subject people of the ancient Irish, will that mean they’ll be loathed more at Ibrox?



Top notch pun-ditry today!


While I fully understand BIGPACKY’s decision to step back from the site for a while,I expect his return when Wee Joan tells him to bugger off so she can watch the telly in peace!

Of more concern was the response of MIKEINTORONTO. Essentially saying we have seen the last of this fine gentleman. So I have a wee message for him.

Mike,if you do this thing you will disappoint me.

(An offer he can’t refuse!)

Big Audio Dynamite

Wondering why the ruskies didn’t just accuse Ukraine of hiding WMD.

They learned nuffin from the west??

big packy

BOBBY, just seen your post, cheers pal, I do hope mike comes back ,mike if your lurking please dont leave this wonderful site,anyway back to lurking until wee joan throws me out, another true story, take care ghuys.H.H.


That was a right good laugh. You should be a scriptwriter for Ant and Dec…at least then the two biggest eejits on the planet-though ‘fans’ of Kris Boyd and Alec Rae may disagree-may for once receive a laugh from their target audience. 😀


I totally agree with you on hardback books. For me, a real book should be in hardback format. As for The Holy Grounds of Glasgow Celtic book, do not go to the trouble of buying the book. I still have a copy. At the next Glasgow hoot, the book is yours. Incidentally, two books you would really enjoy are:

A Year and a Day by Graham McColl and

We’ll Always Have Lisbon by Pat Woods and David Frier.

Both books cover the 1967 European Cup Final in depth. The former book is in hardback, the latter in paperback. You may also want to check out David Potter’s excellent book:

I Remember ’67 Well. This book cover David’s own personal memories of the calendar year 1967.

Hail Hail.

Big Packy

Howdy pal. 😀


Useless fact.

Stranraer away to Annan today,Dumfries and Galloway derby. But is it their “local” derby?

Well,Annan is closer than QoS in Dumfries-but both Ayr and Kilmarnock are closer.

(Google really f….d pub quizzes,I reckon)



Philvis-style Thumbs-up to you both.


A thing of beauty

Craig 76,
Enjoyed the posts about the football shirts but was busy last night so didn’t post. Imagine my surprise today when bmcuwp got me a centenary replica shirt for my birthday. I am delighted. It’s an all time classic. Funnily enough the player who comes to mind wearing this for me is Chris Morris. I’ve no idea why.


Mark Laird of Stirling Albion sent off. I thought it said Mark Lard. So,for old time’s sake…

Prestonpans bhoys

Must be a hard watch at the bigotdome for Kenny McIntyre not a single shot on target😕



I know it was your favourite,and that The Centenary Season was your first “big” season. And that The Maestro wore that jersey probably with even more pride than any other.

As for Chris Morris? He was on the receiving end of the best pass I’ve ever seen,and the middle man in maybe the best goal I’ve ever seen,apart from a certain Brazilian stoatir in 1970.

Started by Paul,of course,with THAT pass.

I’m glad you like it-makes a change from my “meh” presents.

Puff puff

Any link to the Aberdeen game.

Prestonpans bhoys


Clicking on that link at the appropriate time will open their main site. So to watch tomorrow’s game,that link will do. Thank you very much!

Personally I will use it for tonight’s table topper in Italy. 530 kick off.

Puff puff

Thanks very much Prestonpan


Dear kettle…

“Western sanctions akin to declaration of war, says Putin“

Big Audio Dynamite

That’s Van Bankrupt’s phone book exausted, putting together a team of legends from the distant past.

I see his friend Henrik never got an invite. 😉

Prestonpans bhoys

Correct for tomorrow’s game goto main menu and pick it from this url



Aye,van Bronkhurst and Henrik are besties from their Feyenoord days. That’s a long time. Maybe not long enough for KOK to wear that jersey though!

I’ve made no secret of the fact that most of my mates back home support a different team from me. In 2001,having scudded them in MON’s debut season,they were a bit mouthy about getting the title back. So I offered a bet.

We win,you wear a Celtic strip on Cup Final day. You win,I’ll wear a Rangers one.

Fortunately no takers. It would have looked stupid with someone wearing a Celtic top cheering as the Huns won the cup that day.

But with no takers,no bravado either. Either take the bet or shut up and let me get on with my pint.


Ah well the sheep held out for 80mins

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