You Are The Ref!


Today brings us a wee quiz on the laws of the game. Courtesy of SOLKITTS,and including the latest directives from IFAB.

Some of these questions are a little strange. Stranger still,I think,are the answers!

They arrive tomorrow.


1.  What are the minimum pitch dimensions?

a. 70 yds x 110 yds

b. 50 yds x 100 yds

c. 60 yds x 120 yds


2. How many people can be passing tactical messages from the technical area at a time?

a. 1

b. 2

c. No limit


3. What are the dimensions of the goal?

a. 8 yds wide x 8 ft high

b. 7 yds wide x 8 ft high

c. 8 yds wide x 7 ft high


4. What weight should the ball be?

a. 14 -16 oz

b. Anything under 20oz

c. 16-25 oz


5. What items must the referee take onto the pitch with him?


6. Team A are attacking, and shoot on the goal.  The ball hits the referee and goes into the goal.  What is your decision?

a. Award the goal

b. Indirect free kick to the attacking team

c. Drop ball


7. Team B’s goalkeeper tries a long throw out.  The wind catches the ball and it flies directly into the team A’s goal.  What is your decision?

a. Award a goal to team B

b. Drop ball from where team B’s keeper threw the ball.

c. Goal kick to team A.


8.  Team A take a goal kick.  The ball goes directly to their centre forward standing alone in team B’s penalty area, with no defenders between him and the goal.  He rounds the goalkeeper and puts the ball in the net.  What is your decision?


a. Offside

b. Goal

c. Retake the goal kick


9.  Two of Team A’s players, in their own penalty area, start arguing with each other while the ball is in team B’s penalty area.  One of the players then throws a punch at his team mate, but misses.  The assistant referee brings this to your attention.  What is your decision?

a. No action, the punch missed

b. Stop play, send off the player who threw the punch, penalty kick to team B

c. Stop play, send off the player who threw the punch, restart with an indirect free kick in team B’s penalty area


10. The ball is in the centre circle.  The assistant referee alerts you to an incident in team B’s penalty area where a team A player head butted a team B player.  What is your decision?

a. Stop play, send off the team A player, restart with a drop ball in team A’s penalty area

b. Stop play, send off the team A player, restart with a direct free kick to team B

c. Wait till the ball goes out of play then send off the team A player


11. Team A have been awarded a penalty kick.  Player 9 puts the ball on the spot and retreats to the edge of the area.  You blow your whistle to signal for the kick to be taken, and team A’s number 11 runs into the area and takes the kick.  The ball enters the goal.  What is your decision?

a. Award the goal

b. Retake the kick.

c. Caution player 11 and award an indirect free kick to team B


12.  Team A have a throw in.  The player taking it does so with both feet on the ground, but his leading foot is mostly over the touch line and on the field of play, with only his heel on the line.  What is your decision?

a. Play on

b. Foul throw, award a free kick to team B

c. Foul throw, award a throw in to team B


13.  Team B have a throw in, in an attacking position.  When their player is taking it, a team A player jumps in front of the team B player, 1 yard in front of him.  The ball travels to a team B player who shoots and scores.  What is your decision?

a. Stop play, caution the team A player for encroachment on the throw in, award an indirect free kick to team B.

b. Stop play, caution the team A player and award a direct free kick to team B

c. Award the goal, caution the team A player for encroachment on the throw in


14.  It’s a very windy day, and team B have a corner.  The taker decides to hit the kick back to a team mate on the halfway line, but the wind catches the ball and blows it straight into taker’s goal. What is your decision?

a. Award a goal to team A

b. Retake the corner kick

c. Award a corner kick to team A


15.  As you run past the technical area, you hear one of the occupants of team A’s area call you a useless bassa. You can’t identify which one of them said it, but you are certain the comment came from there.  What action do you take?

a. No action, as you don’t know who said it

b. Pick one of the substitutes and send him off from the technical area 

c. Send off the most senior coach from the technical area.


No googling.

Above article by SOLKITTS

32 Comment authors
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For the record Sol…how did you get on with the quiz? 😉😁

Jobo Baldie

jimthetim – aye, I do know that!!! 😁😁. Meaning it’s 38 sleeps until I return to my spot in the North Curve standing section after a 2 and a bit year absence. COVID and other issues made me question renewing for last season. My bhoy pleaded with me not to give up my ticket and got a friend to ‘rent it for last season. My non-attendance protest against The Board, etc did not make one iota of a difference (what’s an iota, anyone?) and left me feeling a bit on the outside looking in on the Ange revolution. So, can’t wait for the Aberdeen game!!!

Sol Kitts

After a wee bit of prompting from ATOB, here goes:

1 A

2 C

3 No clue whatsoever.

4 A

5 Set-square and compass. King William The 3rd half-sovereign.

6 C

7 A

8 A

9 C

10 C

11 A

12 C

13 C

14 B

15 A

Phew…glad that’s over!!

Hail Hail.

Sol Kitts

I believe I did no bad.🤓


Did you pass it to your missus for marking? 😁

Sol Kitts

Ha, she’s watching Love Island with the do not disturb sign up. Should be renamed Airhead Island.


Jobo…I disagree. Your hiatus has seen the resignation of Lawwell and Lennon. The appointment of Ange and a new impetus at the Club. A League and Cup Double against the odds followed. The signs of improvement at the Club are incredible and even the PLC Board appear to be backing Ange and his hopes!
Let me be the first to thank you and congratulate you for your stance. We couldn’t have done it without you!!
Hail Hail Jobo! 🤣🤣🤣


The disallowed Benzema goal in this year’s Champions League final even flummoxed the commentators who swore once VAR got on the case the goal would stand.
They did.
It didn’t.
It was a terrible interpretation even if correct in the eyes of footballs law.

Now footballers are notoriously thick,,If we can’t get it right, the explayers commentating cant either,,chances are they haven’t grabbed the rule.
Their reaction tells me they hadn’t, or didn’t know it existed.

Jose will find a way to take advantage of this new regulation 😉


Jobo, that was great to read. 🙂


What do you do if Love Island’s Contestant A makes a move on a Contestant B who’s already told them they’re definitely not interested and that they’re actually trying to make a move on Contestant C instead?
A Issue a Yellow Card to A
B Issue a Red Card to A
C Go into the kitchen and make some tea and toast
D Penalty to Rangers


Love Island???


Yeah Jim, Sol’s missus was watching it while marking his quiz answers meaning he’s done better than he expected! 😉😁


When a dodgy Renfrew builder is still awake and posting tunes at 5.30am do you,,,,
a ,,Tell Puff to text him go to bed
b,, text him yourself
c,,, answer with a tune
d,,,pray for tomorrow’s customer


1 B
2 A
3 B
4 A
5 2x Whistle, 2 x Timepieces, pencil, coin, notebook, red card, yellow card, match ball, uniform including wee apron, set square & compass, earpiece, fixed odds coupon: 4 yellow and two reds against green team.
6 C
7 A
8 C
9 C
10 B
11 A
12 C
13 C
14 A
15 C


I know we don’t like talking politics on here but there are 2 Bye-election results due. I just hope the Monster Loonies take the seats from the loonies that currently hold the seats.


Thank you, Mahe 🤣


Normally by 5.30 I’m typing Z’s with my nose!! 🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱

Billy Bhoy

Evening all !!

Firstly, great news Sol Kitts!! BTW whits that name aw aboot?

Secondly, I actually just came on to get some advice guys. You know how when you’re lying in bed at night and your right hand accidentally wanders down your body and then you feel a hard lump………no, not THAT one – the one further over on your right side. Well, it turns out that its a hernia. And I’ve got one, apparently!

Anybody had this? I play golf 2/3 times a week and every Tuesday do a keep fit class that involves weights and all the usual squats, sit ups etc. Should I put all this on hold meantime?

Also, anyone have any clue as to leadtimes for surgery?

Anyway, I just popped on to ask but I’m away now to find a pencil and notebook to do this bloody quiz! I just wanted to sit, chill with a wee Bailey’s while listening to the Eagles. Now, I’m going to have to engage my brain!

OK here goes:

1 – A
2- A
3 – C
4- C
5 – whistle, coin, cards, watch, pencil, Masonic membership card
6- C
7- A
8- A
9- C

FFS hey Bobby I finally get why you do that weird thing with the space and the comma. Life’s too short mate! 😀


Billy Bhoy,,
Twists had a hernia,,,and a terrible long wait to get it removed I recall.
He’s the man for advice in that department.
All the best pal
Hail Hail


Billy Bhoy…I reckon you’ll be lucky to get treatment any time soon if it’s a hernia. As well as a hernia in my belly button I’ve got a, wait for it – divarication of the recti – a separation of the stomach muscles where the two parts of the 6-pack separate and part of an organ sticks out of it.
I went to see about it about 7 years ago and the consultant said they wouldn’t do anything about it. I imagine that would have been due to my age, I was much younger then, and the fact I was still playing fitba and also do a physical job. As always, if it’s bothering you you really need to get it seen to, the quicker you do that the quicker it gets sorted.
Good luck!

Jobo Baldie

Thanks for those replies, friends. Feeling quite good about myself now!

Billy Bhoy

There are many types of hernia. Best to avoid strenuous exercise, till you have seen a specialist. Ah yes, Bailey’s. In the Welcome Inn, London Road, back in the day, they served a very special Bailey’s on request. A generous measure of Baily’s, with a double Jamieson’s thrown into the same glass. Not sure that I could survive even one of those, these days. That’s what we used to call:

“A Bailey’s with attitude.”

Hail Hail.

Billy Bhoy

Cheers guys

I phoned the local surgery and got a call back and was then told to pop in. I didn’t get to speak to or see a GP but I saw “someone” who confirmed that it was a hernia. She’s going to refer me for surgery. I just hope it happens before we get to nine-in-row again! 🙄

Billy Bhoy


Meant to say – I’ve got two six packs. One on each side. 🙄

Prestonpans bhoys


I’ve got that stomach gig too, have to be careful doing up shoe laces or bending acutely, if not its down on one knee. Got a hiatus hernia too, just to add to the fun😕 and no chance of that coming oot either😱

bada bing1

Jobo- i felt the same after the Lennon shambles……..was seriously thinking about giving up….. i kept going, thinking a decent 2nd in the league, and maybe a cup,i would have taken it….. next season is 36 ST in a row, i never thought i would hear the Champions League music at CP again……what a change….


Another good side to this blog tonight.



Morning all

Billy Bhoy, I’d an inguinal hernia a few years back. Went to docs. Yes, definitely a hernia. I had BUPA at the time, which got me referred immediately. Had the op quite quickly. All good.

About three years ago ( I’d now semi retired and no longer had Bupa) , I had an umbilical hernia. Belly button poking out rather than in. Doc said to me if it isn’t bothering you just leave it. If it gets worse, come back.
Increasingly more, it protruded more. Not a pleasant sight but I would’ve lived with it, and did for a bit longer, until the pain started to get worse. ( I took a punch on it one day too which had me doubled up – total accident, but painful all the same)
Anyway as time was passing, it became a daily issue. Any heavy lifting set it off. Horrendous pain for an hour or so which meant I’d to lie down until it eased. Given I was working with heavy resin bags, it was becoming impossible for me to pull my weight at work.

Back to doctors. He said ok, I’ll refer you for treatment.

COVID came along. I still hadn’t been seen. Pain was so bad one night my wife insisted I go to A&E.
Examined me.
Yes it’s gonna need mesh surgery but with the pandemic, probably best if you leave it for now and we will look at it after the pandemic ends. “ can you tolerate it for a bit longer?”

I agreed and adopted an “ oh well I can cope I guess”

Turned out I couldn’t cope. Physical work out the question and the occasional bouts of pain we’re horrendous, though it always eased after an hour or so of lying doing nothing.

I decided to go back to A&E. We were now in the midst of the full blown “ pandemic” of which I’d become very sceptical.

Anyway back to A&E. Receptionist remembered me from my original visit. I was the only person in the waiting room. I was seen within minutes by a junior doc, who took one look and said he’d need to get someone more senior to assess me. He did, and I got the same story again, needs repair, but probably best left until the pandemic was over. He said to me “ how bad is the pain? If it gets really bad come back again”

I told him it was really bad but he said “ oh no, you’ll know when it’s really bad trust me” I’m thinking “ oh great – not looking forward to that “

As I was leaving the receptionist shouted “ you off? Not staying?”
I explained to her they’d said they were too busy and I’d need to wait.
She laughed “ too busy? Yeah busy sitting drinking coffee all day. Never known so many surgeons sitting with nothing to do. The wards are empty”

Went home feeling pretty sorry for myself but annoyed more than anything.

More time passes and one night the pain was so bad my wife wanted to call an ambulance. I told her no but when it eased I’d go back to A&E. I did.

Once again, I’m the only person in A&E. Once again I was seen by a junior staff member but this time I told him “ I’m not leaving here today until I get to see a specialist. I can’t function like this any more, I need surgery”

This is where my luck changed for the better. Im told that the actual surgeon who performs the operation is in the hospital right now, and they’d have a word to see if he would see me. Took me to a ward to wait. In the entire ward was me, and a young chap who’d been attacked by a dog. That was it, so I knew they were not too busy.

Surgeon himself appears. Agrees it needs seen to and says the waiting list was now a year and growing, but he’d fast track me and I’d be seen within 6 weeks. Relief. I thought!!

The 6 weeks pass and no appointment date received. Phoned up. They’ve messed up and not put me on list. Full of apologies but by now I was at the end of my tether. I was able to give them the surgeons name, and asked to see him. They put me through to his secretary. She said they couldn’t apologise enough, blah blah, and she’d see what they could do.

That same day the surgeon himself called me. He was also apologetic and said “ I can do the operation for you on Monday if you wish? This was Friday! I agreed and he said the only thing was I’d need to come to the hospital that day for a COVID test then self isolate over the weekend. I got the test and the operation. Went well. No issues since.

Here’s worrying news ( and advice ) for you Billybhoy. When I arrived for the op, I was the only person in the entire ward. The surgeon said to me that I was lucky – as the waiting list was now 15 months and growing for non essential surgery. Lucky? Aye vg.

Op went well and I’ve never had an issue since.

However- my neighbour was chatting to me over the fence. Told me her husband was working extra hours as her boss has a hernia and getting dreadful pain, limits his ability to do physical work, but there’s a 2 YEAR wait for surgery!!

I told her he should keep going to A&E, and if need be, call an ambulance . You need to get them to move you from non essential surgery list to emergency list. Exaggerate the pain and the frequency if necessary. Tell them you can’t function normally. Keep at them because if not, that list isn’t shrinking anytime soon, and will grow more.

You might need to go to A&E multiple times.

Of course, if you’re not in pain and can manage, then at least get on the list now!

Following my experience I took out private health care for my wife and I, in fact my entire family have done the same for their families too, as I won’t be waiting years to be treated for critical conditions, and if you look at the waiting lists for cancer care, heart treatment etc these days, it’s frighteningly worrying.

Unfortunately your hernia just now will be treated as an existing condition ( assuming you’ve already reported it) If not, if possible take out a private health plan and do not report your condition until the qualifying period ( 3 months with Bupa I think) has passed then go get referred by your doc .

Private health care will be out of reach financially for a lot of people. What I will say I’d that it’s less expensive than you’d think if you’re young ( ish). My kids’ policies weren’t expensive. They’re mid to late 30’s)

Mine (wife and I both in 60’s) was more expensive Full cover for both of us is £150 month combined. So depending on your age you’d be anywhere between £55 month and £150 and upwards. The NHS simply cannot cope with the lists following the pandemic. It’s gonna be extremely messy for years- particularly with the Tories in power. All those additional hospitals and staff they’d promised is bollox.

GL amigo. If you require essential surgery I hope ya find a way. Won’t be easy though.


Morning all

Billy Bhoy – just typed out a long post to you. It’s disappeared! I ain’t re typing all of that.

Bobby can you retrieve it please? Ty

Jobo Baldie

Good morning, friends and a Big Happy Friday to all who post or lurk on here.
Billy Bhoy – 7 or 8 years ago I was at Celtic Park for a game against Dundee Utd and when he scored I peaped in the air and landed with a searing pain in my groin area. The sharp pain stayed with me for a few weeks and I felt a lump. Got it checked at the GP and diagnosed as a likely hernia. I explained that I’d been managing it by just lying down and sort of pushing it back into place. Doc explained that some folk just want it removed by surgery whilst others prefer to live with it. I’ve lived with it ever since and in the main I don’t have any regular problems. Still running, walking and golfing as Indid before.


An inguinal hernia left to its own devices can cause some serious issues. Some life threatening. The intestine can become strangled. Best to get it treated if at all possible.