The Baldy Bhoys

I’m more baldy than scruffy and not through choice believe me, but I do believe that was a serious team of Scruffiness assembled yesterday and it would take something special to beat those comb dodgers.
Could the Celtic Baldies take them?
Well it depends on the team of course so let’s find one.
Now I’ll admit to stretching the boundaries here by claiming crew cuts as Baldies but I’m sure you understand.

In goals, who else but the eternal number two all over please Sir , Big Rab Douglas.
He was gifted with height and an athlete’s physique, seemed the type who avoided a fish supper whilst playing.
Craig Gordon is of a similar stature and I’d take Gordon first, that kinda says it all.
Martin only had a certain amount to spend and with Mr Okay between the sticks he opted to improve the outfield, wisely in my humble opinion. The outfield brought us to Seville after all.

Would a better keeper have made a difference on the night?
Not in these eyes.
I watched wave after wave of Porto players arrive in the box as they broke our lines and cut the ball back time and time again.
The winning goal was coming.
That heat, no five subs, no water breaks,,,today that game might, just might, turn out differently, but I genuinely thought they were the better football outfit on the evening despite the heroic fightback.
Big Rab was decent, and suited having little up top.
He gets the nod in goals.

The next player is the lynchpin of the defense and he’s Baldie by name, baldy by nature.
What a defender he was.
“Bobo, take your shirt off and walk up and down that corridor” Martin told him, and with damn good reason.
The trick worked.

‘Bobos gonna get ya’ became infamous, but Scotland being Scotland, and Europe being a different kettle of fish meant he was an easy target for the savvy opponent.
He was prone to diving in with those long legs for good reason, and wasn’t the greatest with the ball, but hand on heart I would be delighted if Ange signed that Bobo today for he stopped attackers and goals more often than not.
My different team supporting friends raved about him, and not only that he’s in our top five bargains of the twenty first century list alongside some esteemed company.
Let me say this, I would find a place for Bobo Baldie in my team every day of the week.
He’s Captain of The Baldy Bhoys.

Alongside the big man is one of the few who could genuinely look him straight in the eye.
Daniel Majstorovic was a fearsome looking giant and of course he opted for the old Telly Savalas hairstyle, ie none at all.
Many a striker must have inwardly remarked ‘Oh shit’, but not by the time he came to Celtic.

The chap was finishing up his career, giant club came calling for experienced backup, better wages etc, and he said yes as most would.
Unfortunately he often got exposed by a high line and his lack of pace, too often for my liking and the clubs as his deal was never extended, and for good reason.
This Skinhead makes the team.

Our right back is one of the few Italians to have played in the Hoops, and he proved himself very capable on the park.
Enrico Annoni was a cultured player, just like the beard thing he had going on.
Sometimes sporting a Kojak up top, he opted instead for the facial hair and seemingly enjoyed nullifying his opponents as Italian defenders are prone to.
We got two seasons out of the chap, he gave us some good memories, he was baldy as a coot.
Hes in the team.

However,,,being tactically astute I’m gonna shunt that baldy Italian over to the left hand side of a back four to make way for a right back we never saw coming.
Didi Agathe didn’t have much hair, he had buckets of pace.
Pace enough to make him undroppable and as such Martin turned the Hibs striker into a right back?!
It worked!

For a couple years he was unstoppable, had a serious engine with great conditioning and there can be little doubt we witnessed the best of his career. He also chipped in with a few goals and with his very modest pricetag must be considered an absolute bargain.
Thanks for the memories Didi, you and your lack of hair make the cut, pardon the pun.

In the middle of the park we have a few options, more than a natural bald anyway.
There is of course one standout candidate.
“We’re gonna sign Scott Brown,we’re gonna sign Scott Brown” sang the Ibrox stands.
Ermm, nah.
Gordon swept in with his vision and the young man was sold on the dream, his decision vindicated by medal after medal in that cabinet.
We offered him glory, the chance to establish himself as his nation’s number one midfielder. Not the most technically gifted he divided opinion especially early on but it’s a fact his shaven head led the Tic to title after title.
I thought the 3-3 Man City draw his best game for the club but it’s up for debate. He made the right choice though, he would never have settled across the city.
Scott makes the Baldies team.

Alongside the legend plays a well travelled Danish International with a head you could fry an egg on.
I recall the hype when Tommy Graveson signed, watched him poach a derby goal that was going in already, but just never fell in love with the erratic player.
Turns out he needed us more than we needed him and after a few seasons he had split the scenes having lived the dream. The fact he never played for another big club tells me we caught him on the way down not up.
We bought into the hype, though I actually think Everton and David Moyes got the best out of Tommy.
Serious baldy though, undroppable for this team.

Out on the left wing is a controversial choice, but I’ve found a slot for the Krew Kut Kid himself, Mr. Marc Crosas.
The lad had something about him, and also a profound admiration for the club and it’s faithful support. Technically gifted, the Spaniard wasn’t given much of a chance in the Hoops which is unsurprising given we were generally stacked in that area with Brown, Hartley, Robson, even Donati all above him in the pecking order.
He enjoyed the game and played with a smile, but at the end of the day Scotland’s often agricultural approach didn’t suit the man, who was also slight of stature which never helped his cause.
A decent player and apparently a good man, on this occasion he gets a starting slot for the big battle of the noggins.

On the right side of midfield I’ll look no further than the black cobra himself, Mo Sylla. He joined the club just as footballing operations was being placed in the slow lane by Peter, but the man himself wasn’t slow. His pace, pricetag, and natural athletes physique helped convince Martin to take a punt, yet playing time eluded him.
His lack of follicles and being accustomed to right midfield force his inclusion on this hallowed occasion.

Up front, the deeper lying of the two is another Balde by name, baldy by nature bhoy.
Big Amido Balde had Danny scratching his head asking is he truly a professional footballer? He wasn’t the only one who wondered.

The big man scored against Brendans excellent Liverpool side who were almost EPL champions, which might just be the goal he’s best remembered for during his time with the club.
He’s my target man, assigned the task of receiving, distributing, and then supporting the attack with all he’s got. Gulp!

His strike partner sported a buzz cut, and had pace to burn if not the footballing skills to match. Kenny Misser fully earned his nickname, I watched him get put clean through one on one seven times in a row and all seven times he fluffed it, which cost him his place in the team and cost Gordon his beloved clipboard.

The Scottish Michael Owen had a good career in the game, is one of the few who played for both Glasgow giants, but lacked the natural tendency to finish of Larsson or even Scott McDonald. A bit more composure and footballing prowess would have seen him go a lot further, and made him unaffordable for the club.
He was worth a punt, nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say.
And nothing much was actually gained.
Even still, he’s the leading striker of the Baldies.

Managing this collection of barber shop dodgers falls to the Lurgan man with the number three all over.
But it wasn’t always thus, upon joining the club he singlehandedly launched the bleached blonde trend, but that soon gave way to a natural red buzz all over that he sports to this day.
A phenomenal reader of the game during his playing days, his potential as a manager was stymied by resting on his laurels and not attempting to expand his horizons by embracing modern coaching practices, hence finding ‘new stuff’ in the manager’s office after taking over post Brendan. No old wise heads on the coaching staff looks a mistake in hindsight.
That’s a pity, but he collected quite the trophy collection nonetheless.
Lenny is tasked with organizing and beating the Shaggies for the big clash.

The Baldy Bhoys line up as following,,
Rab Douglas
Bobo Baldie (captain)
Daniel Majstorovic
Enrico Annoni
Didier Agathe
Tommy Graveson
Scott Brown
Momo Sylla
Marc Crosas
Amido Balde
Kenny Miller
Manager – Neil Lennon

Now the teams have been announced, let’s have your score predictions and maybe a fictional match day report please.

By Mahe

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September 24, 2022 1:46 am
September 24, 2022 2:49 am

September 24, 2022 4:54 am


A truly inspiring tune which I used to copy as I gathered cows in Donegal as a child on hols 🤣 and on telly before scotsport.Fanx

2 from my watching telly themes


Banana splits theme

Tra la la, la la la la la
Be in tonight,have a great day,Scotland R.o.I tonight.
Na na na na
Man that Splits theme tune is goin to be there all day.

September 24, 2022 6:21 am

Good tunes guys 👍

I think this is a catchy wee tune. Always grabbed my attention when the kids watched the show.
Round The Twist Theme Tune
The intro and outro theme tunes from Round The Twist mashed together for full version effect.

September 24, 2022 8:29 am


I demand you drop Misser and replace him with the pre-weave Griff!

Jobo Baldie
September 24, 2022 8:31 am

Good morning, friends and Happy International Matchday!
Mahe, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here and imagine you sitting there with a big fishing rod just waiting for us all to bite. Yesterdays Shaggies would hammer the BaldyBhoys. I mean Big Rab…. Amido Balde….. Kenny Miller? All about opinions I suppose but I did expect to see Artur and Big Bad John in today’s line up.
Must run…..

September 24, 2022 8:45 am

Mojo Sylla could have been remembered by Celtic fans for much more than his few achievements for us.

Just after he joined,he recommended his fellow Ivory Coast international and former club team-mate at Le Mans-?-to Martin O’Neill. One Didier Drogba.

September 24, 2022 9:12 am


Aye..The Baldie’s definitely lose the Head to Head with Shaggies

Maybe swap Harry Hood or Big Bad John instead of Kenny Misser. ?

Room for a few others:?

Charla Tully
Jim Brogan

Maybe make more of a game of it…

The Leopard’s Rimshot
September 24, 2022 9:50 am

Miller over Hartson?! 😧


Big Audio Dynamite
September 24, 2022 9:52 am

Could a better keeper have made a difference?

Bet your life it would have.

A 6’4″ keeper who actually shrunk as he advanced from his line.

Or in other words, a big fearty.

Now, if big Artur played for that team …

September 24, 2022 9:54 am

Good morning all from Zante. You are an absolute shower. 😁

September 24, 2022 10:19 am


Very true. Also Henrik fitted the bill for both selections.

September 24, 2022 10:22 am


I wasn’t a great fan of Rab either. And Martin had a real blind spot with keepers.

Though I had high hopes for Hedman,who was a terrific keeper-until he joined us!

September 24, 2022 10:46 am

Not to intrude on the baldy banter here is an opening from UEFA FSR on what is defined as football income. It is then drilled down in following sections and moves on to what playing squad costs factors are and percentage calculation of both.
It is very complex and would require lawyers at clubs or hired by clubs to tread a path through, but by making detail public it does increase transparency, which is a deterrent to deliberate misinterpretation.

Scroll past or copy for future reference to inform any future debate.
The link to UEFA FSR relevant starting section is

and this is the opening article on what constitutes football earnings.

J.1 Summary of the calculation of the football earnings
Relevant income is equivalent to the sum of the following elements, as described in Annex J.2 below:

Revenue – Gate receipts

Revenue – Sponsorship and advertising

Revenue – Broadcasting rights

Revenue – Commercial activities

Revenue – UEFA solidarity and prize money

Revenue – Other operating income

Profit on disposal of player registrations and/or income on disposal of player registrations

Excess proceeds on disposal of tangible assets

Non-operating income

Finance income

Foreign exchange result

Relevant income must be decreased if any of the elements listed in a) to k) above include any of the items listed in l) to o) below, as described in Annex J.2 below:

Non-monetary credits/income

Income transaction(s) above fair value

Income from non-football operations not related to the club

Income in respect of a reduction of liabilities arising from procedures providing protection from creditors

Relevant expenses are equivalent to the sum of the following elements, as described in Annex J.3 below:

Expenses – Costs of sales/materials

Expenses – Employee benefit expenses – players

Expenses – Employee benefit expenses – other employees

Expenses – Other operating expenses

Amortisation/impairment of player registrations and/or costs of a player’s registration

Loss on disposal of player registrations

Amortisation/impairment of release costs for other personnel or release costs for other personnel

Non-operating expense

Finance costs and dividends

Relevant expenses must be increased if any of the elements listed in a) to i) above include the item below, as described in Annex J.3 below:

Expense transaction(s) below fair value

Relevant expenses may be decreased if any of the elements listed in a) to i) above include either of the items listed in k) and m) below, as described in Annex J.3 below:

Non-monetary debits/charges

Expenditure directly attributable to non-football operations not related to the club

Financial contribution set out in a settlement agreement with the CFCB and/or a financial contribution imposed by the CFCB in respect of the stability and/or cost control requirements.
A thought occurring as a result of putting my toe in that FSR water is that the Celtic support in its many forms but with monitoring of club business aspirations, would be well served by the creation of a legal fund for legal advice in respect of UEFA FSR.

It need not be adversarial just the introduction of the type of checks and balance function that good governance requires to operate in the best interests of all.

September 24, 2022 10:54 am


September 24, 2022 10:55 am

Aw Naw No Annoni in an Aw.

September 24, 2022 11:00 am

From Annoni’s Wikipedia page…

“ Annoni is the subject of an anecdote whereby, in a match in the late 1990s where Celtic were performing poorly and Annoni had just been brought on as a substitute, a fan is reported to have exclaimed in his native Scots; “Aw naw, no Annoni oan an aw noo!” (Oh no, not Annoni on as well now!).[19]”

September 24, 2022 11:01 am

Btw,Annoni was the only Celtic player I saw against Laudrup who had him in his back pocket every time.

September 24, 2022 11:07 am


Pretty sure Harry had a full head of hair during his time with us. And while he was a terrific player-in his role-he was far from a team player,reluctant to mix it in the engine room.

This led to the departure of David Hay,and ultimately too of George Connelly. Though neither was his fault,of course. Harry played to his strengths,and was much appreciated for that. The problem was the wage structure,which meant not being on first team wages if you were injured in battle.

September 24, 2022 11:41 am


I don’t know about his other stuff but I remember him as a Baldy .. not quite Bobby Charlton combover style …


September 24, 2022 11:49 am

Bet there is a lot of split loyalties tonight in the Scotland v ROI game! LOL 🙂

September 24, 2022 12:07 pm

Bet there is a lot of split loyalties tonight in the Scotland v ROI game! LOL
A way back in the early 60s with a Crerand McNeil and Baxter midfield, my dad took me to see Scotland v Eire at Hampden.

“Listen out for the Irish national anthem ” he said with a smile on his face and twinkle in his eye.

I was a bit puzzled until ‘Soldiers Are We’ rang out and was heard being sung in the Celtic end where we stood. Then I got the reason for my dad’s smile as well as learning something.

September 24, 2022 12:13 pm

Auldheid, 😆👍

bada Bing 1
September 24, 2022 12:16 pm

Agnes Hedman,the biggest shitebag i’ve seen in goals for us.

September 24, 2022 12:19 pm

Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest died yesterday aged 88.
(Louise Fletcher) RIP

September 24, 2022 12:28 pm

Kenny Miller should never be mentioned in any Celtic select.
A cheating little hun who we had the misfortune to witness sullying the jersey.
Mediocre talent elevated by being a Rangers player.
Check out his career stats to see how different his scoring percentages where with the huns.
Was it just a vast improvement in performance or was he aided by wearing the refs favorite colors?
Became harder to defend due to the refs preferential treatment.
Fear and an extra half yard can help a striker v defender enormously.
am Apps (Gls)
1998–2000 Hibernian 45 (12)
1998–1999 → Stenhousemuir (loan) 11 (8)
2000–2001 Rangers 30 (8)
2001 → Wolverhampton Wanderers (loan) 5 (2)
2001–2006 Wolverhampton Wanderers 164 (50)
2006–2007 Celtic 33 (7)
2007–2008 Derby County 30 (4)
2008–2011 Rangers 81 (49)
2011 Bursaspor 15 (5)
2011–2012 Cardiff City 43 (10)
2012–2014 Vancouver Whitecaps FC 43 (13)
2014–2018 Rangers 114 (35)
2018 Livingston 2 (0)
2018–2019 Dundee 33 (8)
2019–2020 Partick Thistle 21 (5)

September 24, 2022 12:50 pm


Aye,it definitely receded over the years.

September 24, 2022 12:53 pm


Some stats,them. I think he was probably aided,2008-11,by the fact that Smith scared the refs and media shitless,and that they knew the importance of CL entry via winning the league.

The Leopard’s Rimshot
September 24, 2022 1:04 pm

Good point, Mick, Henrik could play a half for each side 😁

The Leopard’s Rimshot
September 24, 2022 1:08 pm

‘ Dundee United ‘s supporters have been widely condemned on social media and by pundits for their inability to stay solemn before the game in Glasgow kicked off.’

‘Stay solemn’ …

The orders from the media over the past few weeks.

And I don’t think it was their ‘inability’ but a conscious and quite deliberate effort in their part to air their views, however crude they may have been.

Still no word in the meeja about Charlie promising to ‘protect the Protestant faith’ either.

September 24, 2022 1:12 pm

Afternoon all from Spoons in Irvine, where it seems replica fitba taps are OK as long as it is the national team 🤔🍺🍺

September 24, 2022 1:25 pm

I know leaders are intended to cause debate, sometimes controversy, but FFS Mahe including rat face miller in any Celtic select is ripping the pi$$, you could have opted for Hairflick Larsson, John Hairsome, Pierre Van Hairdunk, Baldy Lennox or any other of half a dozen past strikers.


September 24, 2022 1:34 pm

I think Mahe just included Kenny Misser to have us tearing our hair out! 🙂

September 24, 2022 1:58 pm



His inclusion has certainly encouraged some debate. I suppose we can be grateful that this is the only international break left this year. (I’m hoping that the six weeks or so of the World Cup will cover enough topics,plus we have The Sydney Cup to peruse. Otherwise,we might have to shut the site down for the duration!)

big packy
September 24, 2022 2:06 pm

kenny miller a big no no from me a hun of the highest order, and rab douglas well what can i say🤩 JIM from last night sorry i missed your post about supporting england remember in 1966 as a thirteen year old watching the world cup final when germany scored my late dad lifted me up to the ceiiling in triumph, didnt last long but hey ho, probably thats why ive hated england ever since,.FFS dont tell wee joan🤩🤩

Jobo Baldie
September 24, 2022 2:07 pm

Good afternoon, friends.
From my Bhoy on Twitter –

“If Ukraine fail to beat Armenia, Scotland will win group by beating Ireland
Scot will win the group if they draw both games, regardless.
Scot will win the group if they win both games, regardless.
Scotland will win the group with a win & draw (Any order)…”

…but this old man’s Super Saturday starts shortly with a wee walk round to K-Park for EKFC v Cumbernauld Colts. A draw or better puts EK at the top of the league.

Jobo Baldie
September 24, 2022 2:14 pm

Current positions with 2 games to go –
Scotland 9
Ukraine 7
Ireland 4
Armenia 3

And top of Lowland league with loads of games to go –
Sevco B Pl 9 Pts 22
EKFC Pl 10 Pts 22
Broomhill Pl 10 Pts 19
Caledonian Braves Pl 10 Pts 18
Celtic B Pl 9 Pts 17

You’re welcome… 🙂

September 24, 2022 2:15 pm

Hopefully later you will be singing “Top of the league looking down on the Rangers” 😀

September 24, 2022 3:11 pm


A great piece of whimsy from you, both today and yesterday. One point of contention though. Under no circumstances, can someone with a No. 2 buzz cut be described as baldy. As a true baldy, I would view such people as feckin’ hippies. I’m surprised, that Henke did not make the cut for today. I’m glad you included big Rico. The man, in my eyes, is a Celtic legend.

Hail Hail.

September 24, 2022 3:15 pm

Packy, cannae blame Wee Joan, she is English after all! ⚽😆👍

big packy
September 24, 2022 3:27 pm

JIM unfortunately🤩🤩

September 24, 2022 3:54 pm

I got the Ian Young autobiography “Life with the Lions” on kindle the other day, only a couple of chapters in but a good read so far.

September 24, 2022 3:57 pm

Packy you must feel outnumbered in your house, even your wee dugs are English! 🐶🐕🐩🐾🦴

September 24, 2022 4:05 pm


It certainly is a good read. The early chapters are interesting enough, but the latter part of the book has a good bit of intrigue thrown in… that’s all I’m saying for the moment. 😀

Hail Hail.

big packy
September 24, 2022 4:13 pm

JIM 4 WEST HIGHLAND TERRIERS.another true story🤩🤩

September 24, 2022 4:32 pm

I was shocked I tell you,when he said that ibrox mob reneged on a promise to pay expenses 😀

September 24, 2022 4:49 pm

Been watching bits of the Mixed Doubles Snooker event on TV, the women I have watched are brilliant! When you think about it there is no reason why snooker competitions shouldn’t be for both men & women. A lot of the referees are women nowadays too.

September 24, 2022 4:54 pm

Maybe worth remembering that MAHE is a good bit younger than many of us,but no excuse for putting Misser in instead of BBJ.

The two articles are a brilliant piece of what the f..k do we talk about in an international window,and I congratulate MAHE for some very original thinking. You have all had to read me grasping at straws at these times over the last four years. In the disastrous quest for the ten,I would often simply say,after a defeat-you saw it,your turn to comment-and left it at that.

Difficult to write an article when you are spitting feathers!

And just now and again,we need a wee break from the hard stuff,some whimsy as has been suggested earlier.

Btw,no idea how I follow these articles up. Maybe a list of players with one leg longer than the other?

September 24, 2022 5:05 pm


I remember taking ATHINGOFBEAUTY down to the Tap Shoap in Ardrossan for a game of pool when she was about 15yo. Of course,I would be meeting a few mates in there too,but the main reason was just to have a few frames against my sis.

One time,there was a fella holding the table for a while,and a list of the vanquished on the board,hoping for revenge. Could take a while till we got a shot!

I was a decent player,and knew the table pretty well. But I let my sis go before me. Two pints-me-and two Cokes-her-she finally had a crack at the champion-who,by this time,was forgetting the old adage about being gracious in victory.

ATHINGOFBEAUTY wiped the floor with him! And me,as I was up next. And about ten of the rest of the board. Had to go home for our tea after that,or she would probably still be there!

September 24, 2022 5:11 pm


Every penny’s a prisoner, Craig. 😀

Hail Hail.